Wednesday, December 14, 2005

3rd Trip

Back from my 3rd Shanghai trip, where I was required to give a presentation in Mandarin. I suck big time; but really impressed at the eloquence of my boss, be it whether in eng or mandarin. The meeting got kinda ugly, cos of Mr X, from the way I see it, is actually quite an incompetant man. Only his history in the army gave him some stature from which he accomplishes what he has done so far. A bit of of a background advantage. And these fucking Chinese men whom were from the army in the past have a habit of using the word 'qiang bi' ie: to be shot. Everything also wan to qiang bi. The only thing thats gonna be qiang bi would be his balls.

I saw Gillian the other day, when I was at JP shopping for winter wear. She was dining with a guy at Billy Bomber's. She was laughing happily while the listening to the guy talk. It seemed like the ideal scenario that she always wanted. The guy would chat her up and engage her in interesting conversations. Something that I nv seem to do as good as how she wants. At least I'm glad to see that she can be happier with someone else than with me. Even if things dun work out, at least I know she's happy now. Anyway, me n my mysterious luck at work again. On my way to JP I was just thinking if I might meet anyone there. Gillian did cross my mind cos she told me she saw me at JP b4 last time when I was with Min. Then indeed I have to see her.

Saw my airport sweetheart Lorraine at the perfume shop again. We said "Hello". =(

Monday, November 28, 2005

Why?

Jessie is on my mind the whole day. Why?

Saturday, November 26, 2005

Famous Quotes From BPGHS

"I just scrub it clean last week, this week it became black again" Ruili, when asked y his dick is so black.

"Country road, take me home. To the place, I beLONGGGGGG... WEST VAGIINNAA!!! Mountain mama, take me home, country road" Tingyou, during sec 3 NPCC campfire.

"My name is ... Braaaba" Braba, during sec 1 self introduction. (The class goes: Huh?? simi bra??)

"Now, we will sing the BUGIS song" Jiamei, asking the juniors to sing the Boogie song during NPCC campfire.

"Father IBRAHIM, has seven children.....~" Jiamei again, refering to Father Albraham.

"You know what sperm looks like or not?" unknown challeneged Zhongyi. "Of coz lah! Look like soya bean like that loh" Zhongyi retort. (So viscous???)

"What do you see?" Yibao, asking Nose to peek thru the curtains to look out for passerbys, while gambling in my room.
"2 pairs of socks" Nose. (........................)

"When got spot check? My hair very long" unknown
"Hair where?" Azlina.
"............." unknown.

"你觉得XX怎么样?" Zhixiang, asking Hanxi.
"Ok ah, not bad" Hanxi
"你想不想DIAO她?" Zhixiang
"...................." Hanxi

To be added on...

Saturday, November 19, 2005

Pics From Shanghai

Finally resolved my pathetic hp cam's MMS settings. Been having trouble sending the pics I took to my email when I finally realised y. My MMS settings change to Starhub settings when I tried using my Starhub line to send MMS with that hp. So I gotta call up M1 service line to request for the M1 settings again. So now..... all the gorgeous pics I've been holding back for so long can finally be revealed ! Heh... as if a VGA hp cam can take what kinda gorgeous pics.

Let's start with my 1st China trip...



Alrite, I know you all r gonna say it's spastic to take pic of my hotel room. But come on, this being my 1st official businees trip. Kinda memorable ya? So trying to bring back bits n pieces of memories any way I can. Ok... eh.. so as any idiot can tell, this is my bed.



This is my bed again, in a slightly ruffled state. And NO, it's not cos I've had a nookie with some china chick. But in any case, notice the glass pane beside the bed?
U can actually see the silhouette of what's in the bathroom thru it. I can imagine a scene where I'm on the bed admiring the curves of whichever lady's in the shower, awaiting her to finish and then we proceed to ......... play chess and then read a magazine together.



Eh... next is my workdesk in the hotel room which I'm ashamed to say that I did not utilise at all. I haven got my lappie yet then. (Well, the lappie refused to work on my 2nd trip even though I tried to use it)



This, is the seat of sin. I would sit on this couch by the window at nite b4 turning in, smoking my china cig, having a drink of eh... pepsi (Shucks, it's in the pic. otherwise I would've said wine) and enjoying the scenery. What scenery u say? Well.. this:



Ok ok, I know this isn't exactly world class scenery (or photography for that matter), but it does offer a nice view over that part of Shanghai. (Staying on the 23rd floor helps) Anyway, I've always loved overlooking vast expanse of areas, especially city areas.





Ok, some gimmicks from Shanghai. This is their famous Zhong Hua cigs. It actually cost much much more than Malboro in Singapore. More than 2 times the price, when I saw it at the duty free zone. Another thing; they dun seem to have menthol cigs in China. Forced to smoke their lights, which was quite apalling at first until I got used to it.

Next, these seemingly innocent looking business cards actually hide some hideous secret. They are disguised as business cards for airlines, but in reality its for call gals. And how do I know that? (I din call, u idiot) My colleague who has the honour of several extended stays in Shanghai let me in on that trick. These cards are distributed by little kids on the streets. By little kids, I mean pre-pubescent teens, who will attempt by all ways and means to maneuver the cards into ur hands. I once walk thru a bunch of them, only to realise they even manage to slip them into my pants pockets and bag and everywhere.





And lastly, 2 pics I took on my 2nd trip there. Saw this little garden with a wooden water wheel and bamboo growing by the sides. Its actually at the ground floor lobby of the sleazy hotel I'm staying at, and it looked rather nice. So just tot i'll snap some pics of it.

Friday, November 18, 2005

Coffee, Tea Or Ghost?

Back in my seat, fresh and wide awake after a steaming cup of mocha. Well not exactly fresh, but better than how I've been feeling all morning at least. 1 late nite with Date With Vampire 2 left me in this state, not much better off than a vampire in need of blood. Anyway, yesterday I tried something that I've nv done b4 in my 25 years of existence....

I drank coffee !!!

Of coz not the iced mochas or cappuccino or fuckuccino from Coffee Bean or Starbucks. I mean a normal hot cup of coffee. (Ok, it came out from a vending machine, but so what?) That was my 1st cup of coffee in 25 years. (Lizzy must be reaching her millionth or billionth cup by now. Major coffee freak she is) Heh... so sua ku hor? Nv drink coffee b4.

Remember when I was young, (I mean really toddler kind of young.... ok, maybe ard 5-6 yrs old) Mum used to like to drink coffee. So just for the sake of going against her and being irritating, Zai and me would pretend that coffee is the most disgusting and foul-smelling beverage in the world. (She was always chiding us for drinking coke too, ya see?) Anyway, my resentment for coffee is not without reason. The 1st time Mum asks us to have a taste, well..... it tastes bitter. The only taste that a 5-6 yr old kid likes is sweet. (Or is it just me? I know I've got a sweet tooth) So my first taste of coffee brought a grimace to my face. Next, Ronald MacDonald, Hamburglar and Birdy turned up too. Alrite, that was corny.

Anyway, just to digress a bit... speaking of Grimace... April used to say I reminded her of Grimace. (Or Winnie The Pooh on other days) And I would tell her she's Birdy and Lewis is HamBurglar then. Been some time since I saw her, just wonderning how she is doing. She somehow reminds me of a ball. Ok, this is not suppose to sound mean. She is just so... round, bubbly and bouncy. Sth like the wink in msn of the bouncing smiley face. Full of sunshine.
Ok, enough abt Grimace and bouncing balls... get on with the story.

Now.... what story? Yeah rite, The Mystery Of The Coffee Phobia. 1st Investigator - Jupiter "Andy" Jones, 2nd Investigator Pete "Lewis" Crenshaw, Records & Research - Bob "Eugene" Andrews. Heh... I'm so crappy, tot this up on the spot, but their physical description does match us quite accurately. Oh well, so after that I've repulsed coffee all my life. Until that fateful day yesterday....

Anyway, I had another cup today. I hope I dun get addicted to coffee. How uncool, man ! Hahaha... Well, the reason y I took coffee again today.... cos I'm really feeling like shit. Attempted to doze a while in front of my monitor, when it happened..... I attained nirvana and mastered the ability to achieve mental orgasms. Alrite, as most of you can probably tell by now, the previous sentence is crap again. So what really happened is that... I lapsed into sleep paralysis.

For 1st timers to this phrase, let me try to describe this sympton to the best of my ability: It is a state when you are sleeping (or rather, not sleeping but trying to) and u suddenly realised that u r not able to move, or to even open ur eyes or make noise. Basically, as the name implies - paralysis. Then there is this horrible sensation of sinking; sinking into where? God knows. Sth like sinking into limbo. If there really is limbo, I would think that is how it feels. Stuck in a dimensionless world. It would take tremendous energy (or is it will?) to make myself move an ounce and break out of it. I've been proned to these lapses for many yrs, the 1st time was when I was still in sec sch. Dun ask me what causes it, I have no clue at all, though I suspect its due to an unusually high sex drive... Nah, it usually happens when the mind is tired and the body refuse to sleep.

Anyway, my 1st encounter with it was ...... terrifying. When I finally broke out of it, the feeling of tiredness was like a wave that swept over me. Prompting me to close my eyes immediately, and drop into the abyss all over again. I gotta force myself to sit up and shake the sleep out of my head b4 carefully treading on the path of sleep again. For some time, I tot this was what they called being "pressed" by ghost, or sth supernatural. 1 time when I was suffering a lapse again, I was determined to find out who or what is causing me all this discomfort. I forced my eyelids open as wide as possibly, (those 2 seemingly thin pieces of membrane felt like it weigh a ton) n tried to catch sight of whatever ghost that might be pressing on me. It was that I tot I saw it! There was a black silhouette upon my chest, looking like a man/woman's head covered in a hood. (some jungle Ku Klax Klan shit)

Then i tot, "This is it! I'm so gonna give it to u when I break out of this. Just u wait and see!" So I did break out of it and regain control, only to discover what's on my chest was ntg but my pillow. The corner of it seemingly to look like a man's head covered under a hood. Oh well, that's spells the end of the supernatural links I had with sleep paralysis. Anyway, it was far from spooky everytime it happens. Just damn fucking irritating. Can't a man get some good sleep when he most needed it?

Saturday, November 12, 2005

Demise Of The Quails

Well, my surviving quail died as well. Without me ard again. This one is actually a grand old age of 5 yrs old. I guess what they say is true. When an animal loses its partner of long, it usually loses its will to carry on living as well. It started making soft squeaking sounds of late, as opposed to how it used to scream like a rooster. And finally 1 day I came home to hear from Mum that it has died. Now the spot in the kitchen looks kinda weird, without its cage which has been there for 5 yrs.

I spent this week in a zombie-like state, especially every morning on my long train rides to work. Guess its the after effects of last week, where we had a holiday every alternate day of the week. Mon, Wed and Fri nites all seemed like a good nite for clubbing. Mon was Hallowean; lotsa Hallowean parties everywhere. Then Wed was a good time to crash Mambo at Zouk. Fri is just as good as any other Fri for a nite of wild clubbing. End up only went Devil's Bar on Fri nite with Eugene and Qixiao. Lewis joined us a while later with a grp of his RV frens. Cuixia joined us even later in the nite. Somehow, seeing her always make me happy. The ever cute and cheerful little gal. She happened to know Tricia as well.

Talking abt clubbing.... We were actually refused entry at Thumper the week b4. Eugene, Kim Wen and I were in the queue when the door bitch decide to check our IC and declared us as "underaged". Wtf. 28 yr old for guys. Seriously, this is shit man. Most prob she just decide to refuse us cos we looked like we're not going to be spending a lot of money in there. When was the last time that I've been refused at a club?? Only once ever at Chinablack, when their age limit was still 22, and I'm 21 at that time. Anyway, Kim Wen said he'll set up Humper just beside Thumper. That got me thinking of our Tonite club with Eugene and Lewis. The club we said we'll set up when we're making big bucks next time. It still seem like a possible venture. I wun give up the dream. Haha.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Of Purple And Cyan Shirts

Today morning, I left house in a rather cheery mood cos I'm wearing my new purple shirt (yeah, I do feel happy when wearing new clothes) that I bought from G2000. But I realised a horrific truth when I reached the interchange.

My attire is exactly the same as the Tibs bus drivers ! Purple long sleeve shirt with black pants ! Even the tone of the purple colour is exactly the same. Damn. I quickly move thru the interchange at my fastest walking pace, taking care not to walk too close to any of the bus drivers, so as not to blend in. This is just so niao. And come to think of it, my other new shirt kinda resembles the SBS bus driver uniform... cyan... ARgghhhhhhhh !

On another note, my quail died while I was away in Shanghai. Y do they always seem to die when I'm not ard? My other quail died while I was in Thailand yrs ago. Just as well I guess, save me any form of sadness had I have to take care of the disposing after its gone. Just for the record, it did not have a burial and the eggs were thrown away cos we dun dare to eat them.

My last Shanghai trip was......impromptu. Tue morning n boss ask me to catch the evening flight there. There was a slight scare at the airport when I checked in already and they called to tell me they haven gotten me a room. I contemplate bunking in with my storekeeper at the warehouse had I really gone roomless but luckily they found me a cheapskate hotel in the end.
The facilities are not too good to put it in a nice way.... I got a bedside lamp that doesn't work and a leaky tap. 1 good thing is a got a fantastic view of the........ AIRPORT! Haha. Just out the window is the parking place for their domestic flights. Oh ya, and I get to walk to work since our warehouse is just a few steps away. The weather feels just rite at first, the streets feel like its air-conditioned. Till the last day when I'm shivering when I'm in the open.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Time To Go...

I think my little quail's dying... she can't seem to walk properly no more, floundering abt on the floor most of the time. It's a pitiful sight, but i guess it's abt time too. She's a good old 4 yrs old already, and bore almost 100 over eggs. Somehow, I've got a special attachment to her, mainly cos I bought her from the Teck Whye bird shop 4 yrs ago. It seemed that it was destinied for me to buy her; My yellow quail having just died some months ago, and I happen to chance upon her at the pet shop, somemore just 1 single quail on sale that day. After which I've nv seen them sell anymore quails.

Saturday, October 15, 2005

Dinner & Dance? ..... Nah...

It's been a hectic week. I realised holding this position mainly revolves ard having lotsa contacts and knowledge. Not forgetting the ability to push pple to get what u want. I feel that I'm under-performing. I'll still need some time b4 I can run the one-man-show like my colleague beside me.

Anyway, y r there so many pple interested in the DnD ??? Just to ans some queries. It's actually less of a DnD than I tot. It turned out to be just a company function lunch, preferably at a hotel near some mrt station. (At this pt, I welcome suggestions for hotels to come in, but they gotta be fast. I have to book it soon. Last yr we had it at Hotel Rendezvous. So suggestions for hotels shd be in line with this level of hotel class pls) So to speak, there will be no need for a partner. However, if anyone wishes to volunteer as a partner, I'm keeping the nite free for going out. =)

Sigh, sad to say, I've nv been to a proper DnD where u have to bring a partner. Wonder when I'll have the chance for such an occasion. I wonder more who I can ask to be my partner. haha. Hopefully, she'll be in red. Then I can serenade her with the song "Lady In Red"

The lady in red is dancing with me cheek to cheek
There's nobody there, it's just you and me, it's where I wanna be
But I hardly know this beauty by my side
I'll never forget, the way you look tonight.

Sunday, October 09, 2005

The Arrow Man

The end of 3 seemingly endless weeks. Yest was the day of Kaizen presentation. I din quite manage to put up a show as what I envisioned that I'd do. Partly due to the bored expression I saw on the senior management guy's face. So I just chop chop get it over and done with. Ok, down with 1 arrow and another coming up. The arrow caught me rite in the chest - organise company DnD for Dec. Argh! How come Melvin doesn't seem to get any of these extra arrows?
Good exposure, as they said. True in a sense. I'll just have to slurp up all these experiences as though they r choc syrup.

Vellene flew for Hong Kong yest morning. (Not Taiwan. heh heh...) She called me early in the morning while I was caught amid the human jam in the train on my way to work. She's bored at the airport, having mistaken her 8am flight for 8pm flight. How funny. I'm a bit surprised she called, prob cos I'm the only person who's likely to be up at that hr. Haha. We talked on the phone the nite b4 she left also, for a while.

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Cabs....

Its been a while, stupid blog.

I'm currently still in my office, 1st time that I'm staying so late actually since the 1 mth plus I've worked. While waiting for Kelvin to send me my data, I might as well steal some time to blog. (Actually I'm just waiting 8pm, then can claim cab fare home)

My past 2 weekends been pretty monotone. Sat and Sun were spent at home, with Fri nites trying my best to have some fun which always fail. Same can be said for this weekend. But luckily I managed to find a shop selling sth that I've been looking for for quite sometime. They really tight with the regulations nowadays. I sourced Toa Payoh, Clementi, Queensway, Jurong East and all the other regular big town centrals n din manage to find a single one of them. So having found this one, I snapped up 6 of them at 1 go. Who knows how long this one is going to last b4 someone baoto.

I gotta keep any eye on my expenditure. I just settle my insurance plan, which also goes to say I'm now 200 bucks poorer every mth. CPF loan return is gonna set in next mth, which means an additional cut of few hundred bucks. Along with more and more cab fares. Speaking of cabs......

FUCK U DAMN EUNOS AREA N BLOODY CAB DRIVERS !

I was so fucking pissed that day with waiting for cab. I tot it was just cos of Eunos but the same damn thing happened while I was at Queensway also. The roads at Eunos are so damn fucking big, but yet there's so many goddamn cars but incidentally, pathetically few of them turn out to be cabs. I spent an awful half an hr waiting for cab at non-peak hrs, until I got so pissed that I took the bus to Toa Payoh instead. Then the jam got so bad that it took me 45 min to get to Toa Payoh interchange. I tot that was the worst it could be, till I ventured to Queensway on the same nite. This time it took me fucking 1 whole hr to wait for a damn cab. And it was till I got so dulan that I actually called for a cab, that 1 little Trans Island cab came ambling along. (Note: it was not the cab that I called for) At this pt which I dun give a damn to any morals anymore n just board that cab home. Somebody's gotta get played but I wun let it be me no more. Had enough for the nite.

No squash session in the near future. Sigh. And I just bought my racquet like yesterday somemore. =( And she's torturing me with Taiwan guys again. Argh! Must it always be the Taiwan guys?

Friday, September 23, 2005

Virus??

----- WORST VIRUS EVER ----
CNN ANNOUNCED
A A new virus has just been discovered that has been classified by Microsoft as the most destructive ever. This virus was discovered yesterday afternoon by McAfee . This virus simplydestroys Sector Zero from the hard disk, where vital information for its functioning are stored. This virus acts in the following manner:
It sends itself automat! ically to all contacts on your list with the title: "A Card for You". As soon as the supposed virtual card is opened the computer freezes so that the user has to reboot. When the ctrl+alt+ del keys or the reset button are pressed, the virus destroys Sector Zero, thus permanently destroying the hard disk. Yesterday in just a few hours this virus caused panic in New York , according to news broadcast by CNN.
This alert was received by an employee of Microsoft itself. So don't open any mails with subject: "A Virtual Card for You. " As soon as you get the mail, delete it !! Even if you know the sender !!! Please pass this mail to all of your friends. Forward this to everyone in your address book. I'm sure most people, like myself, would rather receive this notice 25 times than not at all.

Damn. I think that's what happened to my comp. Keep telling me zero sector is faulty. But I dun remember opening any virtual cards from anyone. Anyway, I just bought my comp stuffs from Sim Lim yest. Really went down there and anyhow humpthump. Got myself a new hard disk (160GB! How much fuck things can I store with that ! Hehe), a DVD Rom, a webcam, and a ball-less mouse with fancy flashing disco lights. =P Now I can see the applish green room n someone can see the infamous pink room. Haha.

It's a Fri today, I dun feel like working. Going to Seletar airbase to look at aircrafts later in the afternoon. That's abt the only thing I'm looking forward to at work. N then..... TGIF !!! (Thank God It's Friday!) I need some relaxation. I better rest adequately over the weekend if I dun want my head to burst on me anytime. A bit of a workout sounds appealing, my chest starting to feel a bit saggy. Vellene wants to play squash; may find my squash buddy afterall. That reminds to be seen, but I gotta get my own racquet n ball first.

It feels good to have money in the bank. Money I earned. But it's flowing out in large waves as soon as I gotten them. Spent a bomb on my comp stuffs, gotta pay my hotel bills, blah blah blah. Also not forgetting the constant trickle that leaks..... cab fares !! Argh.. Damn this place, y must it be in such a location. (Bird dun lay egg place, as Eugene would say)

But b4 all that..... what am I gonna do tonite? Shall it be boardgames?? lantern viewing at Chinese Garden? Or maybe re-amassing my collection of songs at home.

Salsa Mania

Sth's happening to me. I can't focus my eyes n see n there's a perpetual pounding in my cranium when I'm tired. I see patches of black (or God knows what colours) when I try to focus, similar to when u've been staring at the sun or lightbulb for a while n then try to look at sth after that. Am I not getting enough sleep or drinking enough water? Or is it the effect of the China cigs? Or have I just been staring at the bloody comp for too long? My head's splitting n the pain twitches when I sneeze or cough. I better blog sth b4 I die.

I went for Wed Salsa class this week with Lewis n Qixiao cos Lewis can't make it on Mon. It's a rush as the time's at 630pm instead of Mon's 730pm. My tots as I crashed the Wed class:

"Y oh y, did I choose the Mon class???"

This class easily doubles the no. of babes in Mon's class. (Mon's class has only got 2, excluding Qixiao, so it isn't really that hard to double them actually) The instructor's a babe in the first place, though Lewis thinks our faggoty instructor does a better job. Ruth's been circulating an email to organise an outing to Union Square that nite. We declined to go intially, but then just decide to drop by n have a look. 6 bucks cover charge inclusive of a drink. Y not? Beats any normal clubs anyday. We did run into Ruth n gang at Union Square, n we hang ard together. We left at abt 10pm cos Qixiao's got a curfew.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Ming Xing Ou Xiang !

My blogging has been a bit not up to date recently. By rite I shd be writing abt sth that happened now; (aarrrgghhhh!!! Forgot the comma button is spoilt !!!) not sth that happened a week back. But last week's event was a bit too interesting to leave out. Ming Xing Ou Xiang !

Was supposed to go out with Michi on the Sunday following my Shanghai trip. She asked me to meet her at J8 cos her sis is trying out for the Ming Xing Ou Xiang. I made my way to the 3rd floor of J8 to find Michi; who was standing rite at the front of the barricade. So here's 2 overage guy n gal mingling among all the other little kiddies to catch a glimpse of the audition.

I just lost my mood to blog. To be continued...

Ok, I'm back. Lost my mood after being slammed yet again. Seriously, I dun even know y i bother trying to explain. Take it whichever way u want it. If u can't understand, then u dun know me. I'll be the bad guy then. Everyone feels I'm always the bad guy, what's the harm of being one again? Baddie. Well, then again, nobody really knows me. Even I doubt if I really know myself sometimes.

Sorry abt the Ming Xing Ou Xiang. Not really in the mood to talk abt it now. Just for the record, her sis din manage to get thru. Few did anyway. I was there for the whole afternoon n they chose a grand total of 3 participants who advance.

I attended Jason's wedding lunch yest. I could feel the atmosphere in the air. The feeling of love as they walked down the aisle. Well, even for a player like Jason. I guess marriage really surpasses all of that. For now at least.

As I looked at the gang of bro for Jason yest, most of them have a stable gf. Hanxi & Tricia. Jason & Jasmine (married). Jianyu & Xuemei. James & Yvonne. Ken & Stacey. Benny & Joey. Dun u pple think that I wouldn't want a stable relationship n settle down? I am flippant in my attitude towards gals, cos I refuse to commit till I'm sure she is the one. Or till I'm really crazy over her. I only wana treasure the one that I really like. The one that I will end up with. Is it all that bad???

Monday, September 12, 2005

Shanghai Grand

Just take a look at what kind of comments my blog's been tagged with. What is this, man ! Hell, spam exist in blog tags even.

Anyway, I'm just gonna talk abt my Shanghai trip. This being my 1st biz trip abroad, I was kinda excited even when it was just 2 days b4 the date that I was informed. We took SQ flight n I was looking round to see if I could spot any stewardess I know. Seems I do know quite a few - Cuixia, Jasmine, Tricia, Enping, etc. In the end I spotted none, but there was this stewardess who looked pretty good and provide excellent service; Jeannie, I think that's her name.

1st Day
Half of Wed was spent travelling and it was already evening time when we reached the hotel. Rendezvous Merry Hotel Shanghai. The name does sound a bit sleazy, but it was kinda posh. Think 4 stars. We spent the first nite exploring Nanjing road, which leads to the fabled Shanghai Tan. Only thing is they called it Wai Tan there, aka the Bund. Actually it's just sth like the Esplanade area back home. Just plenty of high rise buildings by the bay. Though the neon lights made it rather spectacular. Got this sharp dick-shaped building which I dunno the name but think u all will know which one I'm refering to. Nanjing Rd was pretty much like Orchard Rd and that is inclusive of the price range. The only really cheap things there were CDs and food. We had dinner at some chinese restaurant, but we have difficulty in ordering the food even. (We would go on to have fish and toufu for the rest of our meals in shanghai, cos my boss' partial vegetarian) Not that I'm complaining, I like toufu n fish too. keke.

2nd Day
Ok, work starts on the 2nd day. We have 2 corresponding companies at Shanghai and I shall Call them Company S and Company C. Company C has been giving us problems aplenty ever since the start of the program, and the purpose of this trip was actually to sort out some issues which we failed to communicate over the phone or mail. It was dumb actually, because the communication breakdown was due to the language proficiency disparity between the 2 parties, though both sides speak mandarin. We spent the day running to n fro our warehouse at the domestic airport to Company C. My first meeting with the fabled xia lan Mr X, (our correspondence from Company C) but end up din really get to see much of him. Most of the time we were dealing with a this Miss Y. She turn out to be quite an attractive lass, but much too vivacious for most sg guys. Furthermore, she was wearing granny panties which kinda turns me off.

3rd Day
The 3rd day was spent dealing with Comapny S. They have this William Hung look-alike as our correspondence, n the pple at Company S r generally much nicer. We have 3 store personnel on rotating shifts running our warehouse. I met the 1st of them on the 2nd day, n incidentally, he is the bro-in-law of Mr X. So kinda like a spy? He treated us like we were some VIP though. The 2nd storeman was a moustachio/bearded guy from Inner Mongolia, whose reason for having this kinda look is cos his idol is some big beard fellow. My mind conjured up the image of Genghis Khan when I tot of that. The 3rd storeman was actually a lady. The 2nd n 3rd storeman r actually uni grads in China, while the 1st guy was employed as a personal favor to Mr X actually.

4th Day
the 4th day was also going home day. Time seemed to pass exceptionally fast while I'm in Shanghai. I remember looking out my hotel window every nite, trying to take in as much of the view as possible; to lock the image in my mind. This is my first visit to China in any case. No signs of any known stewardness on my way back either.

I went to snoop ard the duty free zone in Changi Airport when I landed. I met a sales assistant by the name of Lorraine while I shop for perfumes. She looks a bit like Daphne, and she was very friendly. We talked as though we r frens as I seeked her help on what perfumes to get. Well, it could all be part of her PR skills as an sales assistant but still it felt good. I tot of asking her for her contacts but the situation looked like it isn't too apt;I just seeked her help to buy 2 perfumes for 2 gals, and she's got the understanding that it's 2 significant gals. So it wouldn't reflect too nicely on me had I asked her for her contacts? I know the lot of u reading this would simply be thinking, "Yeah rite, that's just so U, isn't it?". Well anyway, just to summarise in 1 line - My balls failed me.

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Random Mumblings...

Some miscellaneous stuffs.... my mind isn't working properly.

I haven had a cig for 1 week.

I lost my tee n my spf 0 suntan lotion.

Salsa is fun.

Qixiao really looks like Min.

I need a good back rub. moisturizer pls.

Hei fong lei. u know who u r.

Monday, August 29, 2005

Beach Day !

Today was a fabulous beach day at Sentosa. I'm red all over again, thanks to my SPF 0 suntan lotion. Early in the morning, Lewis sms n said that he wun be able to make it. Michelle sms n said she most likely would be joining me. Actually I was a bit surprised she would wana come, considering the bulk of the pple would be pple that even I dun know. They r mostly pple from the Silicon Valley program and their own frens which would be the equivalent of 4th degree frens. That would make Michelle a 5th degree fren. I heard abt the "6th degree fren theory", which basically states that everybody is connected to everybody else in the world thru 6 degree of frens.

Eg: How I might be connected to a native african tribesmen.

Me -----> Fren in sg -----> Fren in foreign country (eg: USA) -----> Fren in foreign country (eg: Africa) -----> Fren in Africa -----> Native tribesmen in Africa.

There. That's how it works. Thru any kind of frens that is mutual. I'm not talking abt me knowing Michael Jackson but he knows nuts abt my existence this kinda thingy. Must be mutal.
Can anybody do a thesis n prove the reliability of this theory?

Anyway, enough of digression. Lewis, this is what u have missed today:

The 1st surprise of the day. We were supposed to meet Su Min at Harbor Front mrt and when we turned up, she was with 2 Canadian babes ! (Ok, I'm exaggerating just to make Lewis hammer his chest) They r not exactly the most babelicious angmohs ard but its still a major perk. So we started with 6 of us, Eugene, Augustine, Su Min, the 2 canadian babes Corinne & Lianne (I think that's how it's spelt?) and me. We met up with the organiser Mingyao at Siloso Beach and soon after was joined by Michelle. Then came more n more guys n its getting hard to remember all their names, so I'm not gonna list.

We started with Captain's Ball in the water. The goalpost is made up of 1 guy sitting on the shoulder of another in the water. This seemingly simple task soon proved to be too much for anyone to handle for long. I was the 1st to go with Michelle on my shoulders. I couldn't even tilt my head to look up while she's on me. Somehow, my tots went back to 2000, carrying the mortar n trekking thru the jungles of Lim Chu Kang. So it was Silicon Valley vs The Rest Of The World, with me being part of The World (for short) of coz. The Captain's Ball was really crazy, with flying bodies n falling goalposts all over the place. Finally The World prevailed with a 10-8 scoreline. Kekeke.

The Captain's Ball was primary the most organised game played for the day. After that pple split up into grps n wandered all over the place. Frisbee, beach volley, swimming to islands, etc. The price for playing on the volleyball courts is at a staggering 5 bucks per person. I say, u can take ur bloody court n shove it !

Well, sth interesting caught my eye while we were playing Frisbee though. I noticed 2 bodies lying on the sands, 1 apparently a gal cos she's wearing a 2-piece bikini. Then as I looked at the other, I couldn't place his/her sexuality. (So I shall call him/her 'It' for the moment) It was wearing only a bottom, with strings at the side of It's waist. My first tot was that it was a bikini bottom only to release It's not wearing a bikini top and It doesn't look like It's suntanning topless cos of the lack of prominent boobs. (Though I dun think anybody does topless tanning in Sentosa) So the only logical reason is that It's a guy wearing a g-string. So I went over to verify. I walked 1 loop round the lying bodies n when I walked past his legs, I realised his balls were half hanging out of his tiny g-string. Man, what a sight.

We went over to check out KM8 at Tanjong Beach in the evening. It was predominantly angmoh dominated, with the pub blasting R&B music while the pple (posers) hang ard n look cool. Well fuck u pple, I'll be back to check out the place another time. We din stay cos we're getting a bit tired n there weren't any tables for us anyway. *glum*

As the day drew to an end n the nite sets in, I felt a very nostalgic feeling. it felt like........ booking-in ! Fuck. I hate Sunday nites. Well, it's quite different now actually cos it's working. Not army no more. But the feeling that it gave me reminds me so much of the dreaded Sunday nites in the past that it gave me the creeps. Most of the time when I think of work, I felt motivation run thru me. Just that maybe Sunday nites can be a bit blue at times. The feeling that the weekend past without u even realising it.

Self motivation is there. But there is another kind of motivation I need. All the while, I felt this is the kind of motivation that can spur me on the most. Take me thru my most difficult times. The motivation of fighting for ur future. Not just my future. Our future. The motivation to fight for someone so dear to u. The motivation of love. Will u be my motivation, Michi?

Friday, August 26, 2005

Suiting Up For Work

Close to a week after I started working. Now is Thur already n finally I found some time n energy to blog. The early waking n travelling time is killing me. Somemore these days I guai guai go to sleep at 12 plus every nite. I really felt like a zombie on wed, maybe cos I falling sick also. Today isn't feeling any better, but at least today is a slack day. Attended a security course at AMK, which basically consisits of 8 hrs of sleep in the LT. Now I gotta be so much more careful of what I blog abt work, cos I'm not sure when anything might constitute a breech of security. Tsk Tsk.

Actually so far, I hadn't really done any real work yet. The first 3 days were basically talk, talk & more talk. My job is virtually non-engineering related, though my designation is stated as Programme Engineer. Not that I'm complaining, plus I dun think I'm really cut for the engineering field. All the disgusting offers from plants and shipyards that I interviewed for already built a mental picture of an engineering career in my mind, n I dun see how I can enjoying that. But recently the job market is finally contacting the lower class honours graduates. I've got a few more interviews every week which I have to sadly reject. Did I make my choice too soon?

The Salsa Beginners Module seems more like a fiasco. 5 hrs of lessons like this is gonna cost me 70 bucks ??? Too bad I've already boarded the pirate ship. Unless I throw my overboard. Lewis joined with his dance partner. A tall and graceful gal from China with a hell of a bod. She looks like Min. As I looked at her reflection in the studio mirror, I notice the resemblance more n more. On a more realistic note, actually I dun have the kind of passion for dance like how Lewis felt. But I guess I dun mind trying out sth new. It's time to include more new stuffs in my life. I've a good mind to join SDU too, since my comp is also associated with SDU. Single, Desperate & Ugly.

I need to plan my finances. I've got a whole list of what I need to be getting come pay day, but sometimes the more u earn, the more u seem to need to pay. I need a wardrobe overhaul. More long sleeve shirt n pants, less fancy shirts n jeans. More bags, more shoes, more ties, more any kind of fuck things that u can think of. More gals definitely. Its like back to IA time now, only this time its for life. I'm looking forward to weekends. Sentosa this Sun. Hot date scheduled next Sat. Yeah !

Sunday, August 21, 2005

Employment

Employment! Things been working out in my favour. I finally found employment, but starting date is intially marred by the impending ICT. And there is the AWOL charge that I have to ans to. Then after fri, the dark clouds cleared and I see clear blue sky. I went back to Hendon to ans the charge. The lao jiaos prior to me kena fined up to 300 bucks. I got a good scare. But turn out I was fined only (relative to the lao jiaos) 50 bucks, cos of 1st offence n of coz in part, due to my lowly cpl rank. Then I looked for the chief clerk and she confirmed with me that my deferment has been approved. So that cleared me to start work on the coming Mon. Finally. There say things always work itself out in the end. I guess there's some truth in that. My past few mths of worry and uncertainty have gradually disappeared, leaving me free to start on a brand new path in life.

This will be the last weekend of bumming. (of coz I intend to make every fri n sat nite chilling out nites) A new lease of life will take over from now onwards.

Talking abt social life.... I seem to be holding out rather well following Andy-Gillian part 2. Strange to say, but I seemingly lost interest in dating for the previous weeks. Not that I'm into guys now, just that I haven ask any gals out ever since. In other words, no hong-ing. I've been spending the chilling out nites with my JC mates. Blackie, Sok, etc. More of board game playing. Checked out Settlers Cafe at Holland V the other nite with Eugene, Blackie, Sok & Sandy. We played this Zombies game. Though Settlers is more nicely-furnished and there's air-con, I still prefer Oasis.

I think this blog is getting boring. Without all the scandalous situations that I used to get myself into all so often. Rite now I am aiming to make good on my career first. But I promise thee that the lifestyle will be back. The Beast will be back. He always does.

Monday, August 15, 2005

Dieting Week

1 week after the supposed healthy lifestyle week. So whathave I achieved??? I tried to stick to my diet as best I could. But I feel it wasn't really any diet, just cutting down on snacking. Lesser late nite shui jiao mian or ruffles cheddar & cheese chips. I din go for jogs or gym, so no chance to check if my weight went down. Doesn't feel that it has though. Well, just have to carry it thru this week.

Weekly summary:

Mon
I met Vivian to go return our convo gowns at Serangoon Broadway. Initially, I was hesistating. Felt like keeping the gown cos I have yet to go out and take photos with frens. However, the tot of getting back the 25 bucks deposit was too enticing (been feeling the strain financially). But the bad thing is that the money went to a lunch at Sakae Sushi n taxi fares. Man, I shd have just stayed at home.

Tue
Tue was National Day. Recalling the previous 2 National Days, it was both pretty eventful. I spent National Day of 2003 with Min at Bintan. A memorable trip I would nv forget. Last yr, I met Kit for the first time on National Day. Had coffee at Bugis. Just when I tot it'll be a boring National Day this time, Michi ask me to go for the carnival at Marina South. Well, might as well. I'm not too eager to stay at home either. There r all sorts of stalls set up there.... but our attention was attracted mainly by ...






This ! Jackie Chan's Evo IX, and ...




This ! My race queen. Wahahaha.




Another car that caught my eye. Mitsubishi Colt Plus.


Anyway, our primary intention of going there is to watch a Salsa performance. It lasted a grand total of 10 min. After that, it was only nearing 5pm. Time for the NDP parade to go into full swing. Tired n sticky, we decided to call it a day n go to Plaza Sing for dinner. We sure were glad we made that decision, as flocks of Singaporeans suddenly started turning up at Marina South. The allure of fireworks n being squeezed n to feel like a human sponge. I had enough of that in my younger days. We were walking ard PS after dinner when we entered a gift shop stuffed with various kinds of soft toys. Michi bought Ashley The Runaway Pig for her sis who was named Ashley as well. kekeke. I was just browsing thru the shelves of soft toys when I saw ...



This ! Stitch !



I had forgotten that there was such a character. Then the bubbles of tot formed ard my head n my tots went back to 3 yrs ago. The last time I saw Gillian wasn't at the Sci library. It was when I went to her place to give her the Stitch soft toy. I had finished my exams then, n she was just going to start hers. She had said that my hair grown much longer then. Hahaha. Of all the weird tots to think of at weird times.

After that, I went to check out the life-size decal of The Maid that the promoters pasted in the toilets. Not really that freaky, maybe cos I knew abt it in the first place n went looking for it instead of letting it scare me.

Wed
Can't remember what I did.

Thur
I went for an interview at ST Aerospace Supplies, for position of Program Manager/Executive. Finally, I found sth that I really keen in doing. Hopefully they will get back to me. I met Alex as I was leaving and learnt that he is interviewing for the same position as well. I learnt later that it was not his first interview with them somemore. He has better honours than me and his specialization is in aerodynamics. Somehow that made my heart drop a notch, but then there is bound to be competition. Just it happens that it is someone I knew this time.

The nite was a bit more interesting. I was supposed to go town walk walk with Eugene, n Blackie was scheduled to meet Cynthia and Kailing for dinner in town as well. So we decide to all meet together and after dinner we went to the Oasis for board games (again). We seemed to be bringing different pple there everytime we go. To date, we have brought Ruimin, Shuling n now Yiling n co. to the place. We played the train game that the babe beside us was playing the last time we were here. Some snapshots ...


The black colour railways look irritably glaring. Guess who it belongs to? Blackie of coz. Well, all in all, it's a pretty interesting game. But I would think The Settlers Of Catan is still better.


Fri
Ntg much in the day. Had supper with Lewis (diner for him) at midnight at Sunshine Place. Hard life as an engineer. He worked till 11 plus everyday for the past week. He came to my place to laup God Of War till 4am after that.

Sat
The Rat, the Weasel n The Boar parked at Tivoli Beer Bar outside Dbl O to watch the season premiere match of the EPL, between Man Utd and Everton. Recently, I've started to notice soccer news more, n even go out to pubs to watch matches now and then. (Mostly Man Utd matches anyway) Well, it primarily due to Vellene who's an ardent soccer fan, but only of Liverpool matches though.

Sun
Tuition first thing in the morning. Wanted a healthy lifestyle day but everyone's too slack to wana go anywhere. On my way to tuition, I was full of vigor, wanting to hit the gym or jog immediately after tuition. All the gas went out of me the moment I hit my bed when I reached home. Napped for a while, n eventually did go for a run in the evening.

Sth to complain abt. There was this irritating old man who was jogging as well. My target is to run 2 rds round the old BP 1.6km route. This bloody old man kept using other joggers as his pacers. He would run alongside u for a while, wait for u to speed up (cos the narrow pathway isn't too suitable for holding 2 joggers side by side), and then he would sprint pass n overtake u. Then he would stop ahead n wait for u to catch up, then run alongside each other for a while, n do the same thing all over again. He did this with me for abt 2-3 times, n b4 me I saw him racing with another uncle. It got me pretty irritated, so finally I decide not to speed up. I just kept behind him at a slow pace. The old fogey kept turning rd to see if i'm catching up, but I just held my pace. Finally he couldn't stand it n sped off by himself. Bloody old geezer, fuck off n die !

Monday, August 08, 2005

The Beast Is Alive

The sleeping lion has awoken, given an anesthetic shot, and went back to sleep again. So once again,

The Beast is back !

Whatever setback I go thru, I'll always bounce back again n again n again n again n again..... Ntg's gonna keep me down for long. =)

Its been a morose (I learnt this new word from Yiling, who's been using it as her nick) week, spent going thru the motion of living. I've reverted back to sleeping at 7am for the past week, and waking in the evening. Not doing me a whole lotta good, but worst of all, its been making me feel terribly FAT! Hopefully I can correct the sleeping habit by tonite, and will spend a normal waking hr week next week.

Coupled with my renewed waking hrs, I am implementing a strict dieting regime. Trial phase - 1 week. I will go without snacks in the nite time, 2 meals a day (as plain n non-fattening as possible, and cut down on soft drinks. Saturday will be my only day of indulgence. It's a grim tot to know that u r still putting on weight at the grand old age of 25. Ideal weight for now; gonna reduce to 80kg.

And this is all in order with a healthy lifestyle theme resurfaced. Hopefully Sunday can be a healthy lifestyle day, spent cycling or kayak-ing at ECP, babe watching at Sentosa, or just good old CCK gym n pool. Prob can try picking up roller-blading as well, but Huifang did give a good scare. Dun wana end up with a busted butt. I'm joining Salsa class with Lewis as well. Looking forward to this new lease of life. Oh yeah, n to stop the smokes...

Sth damn niao happened few nites ago. On my way to meet Lewis for supper 1 nite, my hp and lighter in my pocket conspired to send Adeline 40 over blank sms !!! 40 plus sms !!! I din know abt it till she called to tell me that. Dang ! I can imagine her irritation at the countless number of sms that keep coming in. Haha. Really sorry abt that, Ade. I really din think sth like that could happen. Keke. Well I finally created an imaginery fren named A with hp number 123 after that.

Now to recount the weekend. I awoke on Saturday with only half the day left. Spent the other half in town shopping with Shuling, Lewis & Eugene. This privileged gal actually has got 3 hunks to accompany her shop. Where else could u find such a lucky gal ??? We went to Oasis, the board game cafe at Bugis at nite to play games again. It really makes a good place to hang out, where u can actually do sth instead of sitting n stone.

There were 3 gals at the adjacent table whom I did not really pay much attention to at first. Just feel that the gal opposite me looks a bit like Grace from MPE. Tall, long, permed hair, and her facial features r pretty similar. Well, Grace isn't exactly the most desired babe in MPE but she does exudes her style of charm. The sensual mature gal type. So this gal gradually begin to catch my eye as the nite goes on. Till just b4 they left, we had a brief conversation when she asked us what kinda games we're playing. They left shortly after that, n that's the end of that.

Sunday was spent cycling at ECP. Under Lewis' excellent topography and navigational skills, we found ourselves at Cosy Bay near the Indoor Stadium. We looked a bit like goodu tourists taking pics, but the ones with us r in Lewis' cam. I caught some scenery with my pathetic hp cam.







A view of the indoor stadium from across the bridge



Cosy Bay. Yet to bring a gal there.



Tanjong Rhu. Jon has an apartment there !!!

Saturday, July 30, 2005

Once There Was A Fool

Ok blog, another sad entry after all these mths. Coincidentally, it ended in similar fashion to the last heartache. Both recent break-ups with bf that I din know of, both telling me they did not want to hurt me, both decided to stop seeing me. I take it as punishment from above. For all the bad things I've done.

Sth I've learnt is to not to try too hard for sth to happen. The more u push, the further it gets. I told her i'll wait. I'll play my part, n let her play hers.

I just felt as if someone up there just pulled a prank on me this time. To have me so foolishly build up hope only to have it smashed in an instant. What I'm really surprised at this time round is the amt of hope that I've actually sub-consciously built up. That it was enough to cause me this much heartache. It was a bitter bitter feeling when realised that it all come to naught.

I feel the dreaded feeling yesterday. The Dreaded Feeling. Where u r not in the mood for anything, where ur appetite is lost, where u just can't get to sleep at nite, where u start to see shadows of the past ard every corner. When I was at Suntec Sky Garden just now, I tot of the time I called her while I was there with Lewis & Eugene 3 yrs ago. Even memories of 3 yrs ago started floating back. I was elated to know she's having a long weekend this week. Tot I could see more of her. I tot of stuffs and promises we said which is not going to happen. We'll go clubbing. We'll go sentosa. We'll go for nature walks. It ain't there anymore...

With every setback I encounter, my ability to love becomes lesser and lesser.

Once there was a fool.
He hath his heart broken in two

The Long Walk

There is so much to say yet I can only say so little.

The bitterness wells up in my throat as I walked, until a pt it becomes unbearable.

Hope brings forth Expectation.

Truth erradicates Expectation.

Bitterness follows Truth.

Hope; How I hate you.

The walk must go on.

I hope no more.

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Dumb

Wake up. Don't be dumb. It's just wishful thinking. It isn't happening.

Saturday, July 23, 2005

The Island

I'm just 5 mins into my hse n here I am seated in front of my comp, for I have tots abt sth that I wana pen down b4 I get too lazy to do anything abt it. I just watched The Island with Gillian at JP. It was a remarkably good show, despite the less-than-creative title. Hell, I think I'd go so far as to say its the best show I watched this year. The gist of the plot revolves ard 1 theme: human cloning. I remembered I wrote an essay on this topic for my A Level GP paper. N its sth that intrigues me a lot.

In it, Ewan McGregor plays a clone of someone living in the real world. All clones are kept in an undergrd facility whereby they await to have their organs harvested by their original counterpart shd their organs fail them. Their r termed as insurance policies, bought by the filthy rich. The clones lived without any knowledge of the real world, and the only thing they look forward to in ther life is to win the lottery, by which they would get the chance to go to "The Island", which was perceived to be a paradise lost. In actuality, winning the lottery simply means their owner's time is up (n so r theirs'), and they r abt to get their organs harvested.

The show is filmed such as to show human cloning in a bad light; the securities at the facility have no love lost for the clones, they pull a str face, strictly business for them. They laugh n jest as the clones struggle for survival upon knowing they will be killed. The mastermind behind the facility is unfeeling, unscrupulus. Clones r merely products to him.

So is it ethical to clone a human? More than often, Science has brought upon itself various morality issues. Subjects like the atom bomb, nuclear warfare, genetic engineering, etc. It was all made possible thru science. If I'm filthy rich n lying on my deathbed, n someone proposed to me the idea of cloning a new me so as to replace my failed body parts, would I be wrong to want it? If a clone of me is made for this purpose, is it right for him to want to break free of his destiny? Let's look at this, with regards to the idea of freedom to live. In both cases, I can argue for it with this idea.

For the host:
I am rich, n I do not want to die. I can afford to make a clone of myself. Y ain't I allow to do it?

For the clone:
I have as much right to live as anyone else in the world. If there's so much talk abt abt human rights in abortion cases, there shd be as much rights for my case.

So it isn't as clear-cut as in the show, where the cloning parties r portrayed as the villians. No matter what happens, it will always be 1 for 1. 1 must die while the other lives. (Sounds like Harry Potter & Voldermort here?) The scales would not be tilted. Yin and Yang. Black & White. Male & Female. The balance is always there. This is Gillian's view on the matter. So who's at fault? The host or the clone? Or maybe the scientist perharps, for even allowing this to happen. To quote a phrase from the show: "Everyone likes to eat burgers, but they don't like to see the cow." Really apt for the situation at hand.

Later on I had this tot. The host wanted a clone of himself to be created, cos he wanted to live. The clone after being created wanted to live as well. But wouldn't the original sin lies with the host himself, for it was he who wanted it. He should therefore be responsible for his clone as a parent is responsible for their child. Isn't a clone as close to an offspring as it can get? Hence, the host holds full responsiblity over his clone, including his sch of tots.

Finally, to note, science shd not be facing the issues of ethics n morality. Humanity shd be. Commericalization n military usually robs away any morality of techonology. The use of any technology borders on the intended purpose of the user.

Monday, July 18, 2005

Convocations

The past 2 weeks have been busy ones. I attended 4 convocations in all, including my own. Gillian on fri, Lewis on tue, Hui on wed and my own on fri. Was supposed to attend Shiyi's convo as well, but couldn't really get my bum off the bed that morning.

My primary role at Gillian's convo was bag carrier. Xinyi functioned as the official photographer. Her mum, aunt, sis n bro turned up for her convo. At that time I wondered if her mum n sis would remember me from 3 yrs back. They must be thinking this guy's really perserve or this guy's simply too thick to be after her for 3 yrs without success. We went out afterwards to orchard for dinner and then Indochime for some drinks.

Now for some gossips. I saw Hanqiang as we were walking along outside wisma towards indochime. His face was sordid and he waved me a casual hi n proceeded on his way. When we entered the live band section of indochime, I saw Queenie at a table with her ex bf. They were happily holding hands and cuddling n kissing. I put 2 n 2 together and figured Hanqiang must have just left from there. What bemused me the most was the lack of guilt on Queenie's face. She was happily carrying on her reverie with his old love while Hanqiang stalked off, face black as charcoal. This dun reflect too well on her I supposed, but who was I to judge.

Gals r heartless creatures. I experienced this first hand. When they found new love, they brush u off like a piece of dirt. The regrets come after a while, when the honeymoon period ended and problmes started surfacing. That's when they wondered if they would have been better off had they stayed with their old love. Remorse n guilt may have plagued her thru-out her new relationship but it doesn't help any cause now does it? The damage has been done. The pain is inflicted. It runs like an invisible scar across my chest, one that cuts right to my heart. Only those unfortunate enough to have experienced the same would understand the kind of pain that I felt at that time. It is beyond words.

She was the highlight of my life then. Everything I did, I did it for her. Every dreary mission n route march I undertaken, the tot of her keeps me going. To bk-out and see her every weekend. Every jump I took, I told myself I must not die because I gotta live to see her. I kept myself out of trouble as far as I could cos I treasure my weekends more than anything else. She was my world. She left. My world is no more. I died.

I ended up writing so much on the past when this entry is titled 'convocations'. Mustn't sidetrack too much. Back to convocations.

I attended Lewis n Ruimin convo on tue. It was my birthday as well. Everyone pretty much had their own programs to attend to. So ended up with Eugene & me going marina square in the meantime waiting for anyone else to join us. We watched Fantastic 4 which shd really be titled Fantastic 1 instead. (Jessica Alba being the 1 of coz) Lewis and Ruimin joined us for dinner after voyaging the sch for photo taking. Hui met us for dinner even later at marche and she brought the fabled Andru with her. That marked the simplest birthday I had these few yrs. Not much fanfare. Not much gimmicks. I'm too old for all these as well.

Next was Hui convo on wed evening. Hilda was there as well, and apart from her, no one else I knew. I saw my eye candy. She's from Biz, 1 yr my junior. It took me till her convocation to find out. Haha. Was with Hui and another guy from her Masters class who doesn't seem to like me a great deal.

And lastly, there was my own convocation. Since all the working personnel couldn't attend it, I asked everyone who could make it to not attend as well. Just a simple affair with my family. MPE convocation was split into 3 sessions. Pretty disruptive for photo-taking purposes. Ended up just took individual shots with whoever I could find on the spot. The nite was spent at a board game shop in Bugis by the name of Oasis. Eugene, Lewis, Ruimin and I was there till 2+ in the morning. I've got a good mind to ask Gillian with us sometime.

Monday, July 11, 2005

The Place

I was back at a place where I had gotten very familiar with, though I had absolutely no business there strictly speaking. I made frequent visits to this place in 2002 because of her. The frequent trips over to study, to accompany her, and even a confrontation. Well, I was back there again but I wouldn't have dreamt that we'd actually be back there together, even just half a mth ago. The places we went to brought the nostalgia.

The building where there's no hp reception and male/female washrooms on alternate levels

We were there once, n I was reprimanded for making her look for me while I waited for her to sms me after we visited the washrooms on different floors.

The canteen with the pink tables

Numerous times I have seen her sitting in the canteen during lunch time with her frens. Numerous times the conflict in my mind to go over and say hi n numerous times I always resisted.

The confrontation with Bamboo took place there as well. Xinyi was there as well n I even have to rope in Eugene eventually. Honestly, I din know she was going to be so upset over what I told her, to actually set up a confrontation. Bamboo must be cursing me so bad in his heart after that day, but honestly, I din meant it as a sabotage to his efforts to win her heart.

The incredibly coincidental thing is that we actually met Bamboo that day in the canteen. Nobody acknowledge anybody. He must be thinking: this fool sure is persistent. 3 yrs n still going on. haha.

The library up the sloping road

The place where I left her 3 years ago with a sad resolve in my mind. She was angry with me on that particular day, when we were supposed to study in the library. I tried all I could to make her happy. I drew her a smiley face with a silly smile which she told me b4 that it looked very cute, b4 I left for tuition.

That was the last time that we went out; in a long while. The strong resolve to work things out had faltered. What was left was a sad resolve. The sad resolve to back off. I knew that would be the last time I'm gonna see her. But I want to make her happy even if its the last time I'm seeing her. I'm the Great Pretender.

Thursday, July 07, 2005

Slammed Again

This is the 2nd criticism I got in a while. So much for asking pple to comment. Oh well, say what u want, I wouldn't have penned (or rather, typed) it down if I can't accept verying opinions. But then again, the fact that it has to be penned down in this blog shd already tell that its controversial material.

Maybe because of the various names that appeared in this blog that pple would tend to think that i can like multiple gals. To list: Huimin, Michelle, Vivian, Huifang, Liz, Gillian, Vellene n God knows who else. Its true that I have a lot of gals on my mind. Its true that I am nice to all of them. But its not equivalent to me liking all of them. Maybe I shd make a stand so everyone wun be misleaded? I do not like a single gal now. So everyone's happy? No one's gonna slam me again I think?

Anyway, I decide to remove the pic of Gillian & me and replace it with another one for privacy reason. Reckon if there's pple criticising my way of tots, then I had better keep the gals identity under wraps.

Monday, July 04, 2005

Old Flame Week ; New Flame Week ?

Old flame week was good. Especially the date with Gillian. I dun understand how I couldn't seem to talk much with her in the past, cos this time it just seems so natural. Maybe its cos I've changed. Situation changed. Expectations changed. I was too conscious of myself as a suitor in the past. She had different expectations of me as a suitor in the past as well. I like the feeling we had on fri. I hope it will be like this forever. We went KBox at JEC, but I was kinda off-form. Couldn't hit the high notes that I usually could. We had jap food for dinner and after that, initially wanted to get her to join Eugene, Lewis & Ruimin at Holland V for games but the place is closing soon. I joined them nonetheless, for a miserable 1 hr of ice cream time at Swenson's.

Recap of old flame week: Sunday - Squash with princess. Friday - Breakfast with Huifang. (See, got jio u leh.) Friday - Date with Gillian. So that would make this week new flame week I guess. So far it seems to be true. Vellene asked if I wanted to catch War Of The Worlds with her on the coming fri. That would make 1 new flame date for this week, which of coz is still subjected to changes.

TODAY was another failure this morning. I tot the worst it could get was down to 4 guys: Lewis, Eugene, Mingyang n myself. But Mingyang decide to go ECP instead when we finally gathered at Harbor Front. So we had a grand total of 3 hunks at Sentosa, for predominantly sun-tan, and miniscule frisbee session. Well, at least it was an improvement of 1 member as compared to last sat at sentosa with eugene n me only. We just have to keep this up n by the 10th week we'd have 10 person. =)

IPPT due on my bday, which is approximately 9 days away. I guess I wun be booking it. Maybe can escape with a fine like Kailun. Worst case scenario would be RT session. ICT rd the corner as well. I had better find employment soon. No way would I wana go back for this one. Non of my mates r going back, save for Jinlong n Yang Wei I think. Ernest has 1 more sem, Nic still in NTU, Weijie has 1 more yr, Kean has 1 more sem as well I think.

Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Woe Betide The F**ker Who Stole My Bag

It took me 25 years to experience my first bag theft. Some fucker actually stole my bag at Lot 1 arcade while I had my back turned, playing the stupid army game. Items lost include: 1 large shower towel, 1 small face towel, 1 renoma sweat shirt, 1 asics running shorts, 1 crocodile underwear, 1 sony ericson earpiece, 1 black comb, 1 lighter, 1 M1 hp bill, 1 Starhub hp bill. Hopefully the bugger will help me pay my hp bills, or m i hoping too much? Well, all in all, no major losses. But still I will kill that fucker if i find him.

Yest was an eventful day. I went California Fitness gym with Ruimin, who got me a free 2 week trial membership. But b4 that, I have to endure an arduous 1 hr of the lady getting me to sign up. Then I broke my legs during the Bodypump class with the torturous squats. The squash session on sunday took my legs a lot more than i tot. Then we met up with Eugene n Lewis to watch Initial D at Lot 1 at nite. Which was also when I lost my bag. Well, Liz din like my bag anyway.

The squash session was ..... in 1 word, uneventful. The most amazing thing that happened is that nothing happened. This was the 1st time I seen Princess since that fateful nite when she pulled her disappearing act. We talked, we laughed, we played, and everything went smooth. But the flame is faint. I wouldn't say extinguished, but faint. I wouldn't say she is an unfinished chapter in my life anymore, the fairytale has concluded and we've moved on.

I'm meeting Gillian on the coming fri for War Of The Worlds. I think I'll label this week Old Flame Week. Meeting up with 2 of my past flames in a week. Any other flames wish to meet up this week??? After we concluded 3 yrs ago, I've only met n talked to her in person on a chance meeting on the train 2 yrs back.

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Little Starry


starry

I met up with Liz b4 her flight on fri. We went ktv-ing at Lot 1. She told me she's got a new suitor now. I dunno how to feel abt that. The guy is working, drives n rides, showers her with gifts, n has been giving her a lot of attention and being very aggressive. But she's telling me that he's freaking her out. But then again, who can believe what gals said? She might not be really feeling that way. Gals. Incomprehensible creatures.

I gave her a plushie soft toy starfish which she called starry. (See above) She seem to like it quite a lot. I seldom give her presents, save for beanie and starry. Actually sometimes I wonder how she feels abt me. At times, she will call to talk, or even ask me to meet up. Is that a sign that I'm just like a buddy-buddy pal or is it an indication that she likes my company n can progress to sth more? I dun seem to fall in any category that she classifies her guy frens. I'm not close enough as a pal, nor in the same league as her so-called freaky net guy frens she met up with.

Anyway, min visited my Multiply page. I wondered what took her so long, I must have visited her page like weeks back? And the only photo album that she took interest in were the one captioned 'My Leading Ladies'.

Monday, June 13, 2005

A Page From 2002


My replacement pic. I tried my best ok...

A photo that brings back a lot of memories. That time was nearing the end of my attempt to go after her. She told me that it was kinda imposssible for us to be together but I was bent on trying to make it work. I still remember the kind of renewed vigor I had, upon deciding that I shall give whatever I have to try to make it work out. The kind of 'I shall overcome all obstacles' feeling.

I told her that we look very compatible in the pic. I said it not just as a passing remark, but cos I really do feel that we look very nice together in this pic.

Finding The Balance

Right now I'm trying to find back the balance in my life; emotional balance, in terms of affection for gals. The cause of my recent disturbance would no doubt be Vellene. Her appearance actually caused my interest for Liz to diminish, which I think is not such a bad thing as well. Liz has too much life already. She has programs for almost everyday of the week. Had my interest level remain as high, I would have died waiting for the day when she's free to go out with me. We meet up like once a week, n I find it quite satisfying for now.

Sometimes its quite ironic how fast or sudden things and situations change, unexpected events happen which catch us totally off guard. Prior to last sat, everything was still going kind well. I'm still one of the guys she eager to chat with online, till the sat she met up with her visiting Taiwanese frens. Who would have expected that a whole grab of Taiwanese guys came instead, let alone 2 of them to be interested in her, and the worst part that she sad be interested in them. I mean come on, they dun even speak English! n she's a potato somemore. So suddenly I became someone she talked to when she's free. The 2 guys r taking up all her time online. I feel especially irritated when she put her nick in Chinese. It's as good as telling me she's happily chatting with them. Up to a pt I dun even wana msg her when I see her online. All the talk abt meeting up, it's not going to materialize anytime soon. Even if it is, I dun really want it to be now as well. The significance wun be there when she's still crazy over the 2 Taiwanese.

A note to all the clueless gals (Blackie) out there, those who are bewildered by the number of gals' name that appear in my blog: this is the kind of life that every single guy out there is leading. It is mathematically not possible for a guy to be only involved/interested in only 1 gal at any moment in their life. Dun even try to kid urself that it is possible, or ur bf is ONLY interested in u. Note: the term 'interested' is loosely defined. But this is not to say that all guys r fickle-minded. The difference lies in the degree of priority that these gals have in the guy's mind.

Well, just got niao-ed by Blackie for having so many gals' name mentioned in my blog. Hard as it might be to believe, I would also rather have fewer gals who r involved in my life. Preferably just one. That would be sufficient. The one. But who is she? Or rather where is she? I gotta get back the neutrality in my life first, for me to be able to know.

Monday, June 06, 2005

The Final Farewell

The final farewell came on the 31st of May. 2 days earlier than expected. And I have done it again, although with much help this time I suspect. Cleared my final sem. Weeks of worry came to an end finally, and I even had a B for my FYP. I really have Ah Seet to thank for this. The moment of truth was revealed on a sunny tue afternoon. The sight that greeted me got me momentarily stunned, b4 the relief and ectacsy set it. I have finally graduated. The immediate feeling was kinda indescribable. The closest I can get to describing it is that: At that moment, I feel like I can take on the world.

I've done it again for the final time, pulling it off again. The only smear on my record would be I failed M363 in yr 3. And of coz the fact that I only got a 3rd class honours. I remember my dream when I first stepped into NTU, that I would graduate with 2nd Upper honours. That dream soon faded into an expcectation of 2nd Lower honours at most, which further faded into a reality of 3rd class honours. I guess I only have myself to blame for that, cos I really din kinda slack off in my 3rd and 4th yr. Too much distractions.

Sometimes I wonder if Liz had ever read my blog, and she just kept quiet abt it. Act blur. Haha. Up till now, I'm still taking it easy regarding her. We're still going out, ard once a week at least. Just that my interest level seem to have taken a dip. That can be credited to the emergence of Vellene, but I've yet to meet her. Nothing's conclusive after I've actually seen her in person I guess. And maybe cos of Michelle too?? We been kinda close these few days. The other day, she came to CCK to meet me for a while b4 going down to orchard. We took a photo with my hp at Mac, and she had her head on my shoulder. At that moment, she felt so much like my gf. But she disappointed me the other nite. That's all I have to say. Her way of thinking, is really disappointing.

I had a rather heartfelt talk with Gillian the other nite. We seemed to be able to talk so much better now. It might be because I've changed, or maybe it's cos of the fact that I'm not after her, so there isn't a need to put on a front and I can be free to say whatever I'm feeling. She expressed that she is appreciative of my efforts when I was after her 3 yrs ago. Well, the tot did cross my mind, that if I had done the same things today, the outcome might be a different story. So might this set the stage for Andy-Gillian part 2? I'd be lying if I said I din tot of it, but then a tot remains a tot until it's set into action rite? For now, let sleeping lions lie.

The Childhood Sweetheart

This entry is dedicated to Huifang, who has been demanding to have her name mentioned in this silly blog. See how I played her in the last entry? Whahaha. Ok, now I better come up with a decent entry abt her b4 she decide to quit her job as my sexy secretary. So I will relate my life story abt her now. Whahaha. Warning: the following stuff is gonna sound extremely childish. Can't be blamed cos most of it happened 12 yrs ago?

Hmm.. this gal, I have known her for 12 yrs altogether now. Though it wasn't constant contact thru these 12 yrs. She kinda disappeared from my life after sec 3 n reappeared only a couple of yrs ago in 2002. Here's how it started:

The year is 1993. The scene is the old BP campus, inside class 1A.

Sujing: what do u think of that gal? (pointing to huifang) Her name is Song Huifang.

Me: not bad loh, y leh?

Sujing: I think she's the prettiest in the class, I'm going to go after her.

Hence I started to notice this gal, whom many regard as the class belle. (Though vehemently denied by Yibao, who insisted that Xiumei is the best) Every morning when we make our way to the class from assembly, Huifang would pass by our seats in order to get to her seat. I started the usual teasing commonly done by pre-pubescent teens. So whenever she walked pass, I would call her "Sujing de ma zi". Sujing would then retaliate by calling her "Minghua de ma zi".

The kind of interactions that we have at that time r mostly the childish sort. Like during the time b4 assembly, where the guys n gals will be sitting with their cliques at the assembly ground. At that time, Ruili revealed that he likes Guat Yee. So we would do things like drop his wallet to the gals, n do stuffs that makes use of the pretext of Ruili liking Guat Yee to talk to Huifang. Every evening after sch, I'll make sure I get to the bus-stop fast, just so that I can wave goodbye to Huifang who's taking bus at the opposite bus-stop.

It was after the mid-year exams that we had any kind of more proper interactions. Sujing n I made silly bets like who can get to know her exam marks n such. So every evening after watching the 7pm show, I would call n chat her up. It wasn't exactly what u would call constructive conversation. Just the kind of kiddish banter that u would expect of 13 yr olds. Well, things seem to simmer down after the sch was relocated to its new premise at CCK. By this time, the whole class had kind of acknowledged that I was Huifang's primary suitor. Somehow, Sujing's status as a suitor seemed to have evaporated. It was kind of a bittersweet feeling, that classmates would all tease me abt her, painting the illusion that she n I r a likely couple. But only I myself known that she has yet to shown any form of positive signs abt me. Gradually I did realised that she doesn't like me. But yet I have to take the constant teasings by everyone, having to smile n laugh just to bring over the awkwardness of the moment, knowing that she does not like me. The heart-wrenching feeling, not many pple understood at that time.

1993 came to an end without much fanfare. However, I tot things had changed for the better come 1994. This yr remained as the freshest n most memorable times I had of sec sch. Cos it seemed every thing that's significant for me took place in that yr. The frenships that I had; the clique had grown. Sujing, Nose n I became known as the 3 Musketeers. In time to come, Longjia joined the clique as well, with Raymond, Ruili n Yibao occasionally joining us too. The 2 most impt gals to me at that time - Huifang n Xiumei. The feeling in the air of that era. I could still smell it sometime. It's hard to imagine that was already more than 10 years ago.

Thru sheer luck, I ended up sitting beside Huifang on the 1st day of sec 2. Thou technically speaking, my table was combined with Huiqian's, with Huifang's table seperated by a walkway. Well, I thought heaven might be trying to tell me sth, but putting me together with her again. It turned out to be ntg more than wishful thinking. Sec 2 saw the forming of the 3 Musketeers, which would eventually lead to my downfall, when we introduce Nose to the fray. I went thru a yr of sometimes liking Huifang, sometimes liking Xiumei. I guess I kinda got distracted after Huifang's birthday.

I gave her a heart shaped music box, to which I din really get much reciprocation but a 'thank you'. Got kinda disheartened after that, and I was moved to sit beside Xiumei on the 2nd week of sch nonetheless, making me in proximity with her more. The yr went by, numerous ups and downs, n in the end the outcome was more or less clear to me. It would turn out to be Nose. Somehow, Sujing had managed to talk to Huifang and uncover who she really likes. I suspect he told Nose but he nv told me abt it. But somehow, Nose would pretend that he didn't know. This got me pissed. To be in the unknown. And during the dec holidays, they stopped contacting me. No more do they call me up to talk, or to go out. Now Longjia has joined the group, and it was no longer my gang.

Fine if it were to turn out this way. I would not lower my pride to just join in like what Sujing did. Join the victor. That was how he always behaved. Be part of the 'in' group. Hence that signalled the end of the frenship that we had built up for the yr. To fall out over a gal might not be the best way of ending a frenship, but it has made me see the heart of these pple whom I called 'friends'.

Saturday, May 14, 2005

Bingo Again

Well, well, I wan new developments rite? I sure got them. haha. Not in a favorable way though. I asked her out for sushi yest, and she agreed initially. But abt midday she said she gotta attend her good fren's graduation thingy, so had to turn me down. Well, I was fine with that. I mean I dun think I make it anywhere near to her good fren level yet.

So ended up I went down Zouk with Eugene where they hoisting the FHM Top 100 Sexiest Women Countdown. It was mostly a stare at the project screen and clap affair, with only a few of the local starlettes showing up. Zouk's member section was a star-filled area after that, with cythia koh, ann kok, jaime teo, rachel lee, joey swee, denise keller, maia lee, margaret lee, etc being there that nite. I met Val again there as well.

Y did I sidetrack to talking abt Zouk? tsk tsk.. mental lapse. haha. Well, to cut a long story short, let's just say my suspicions were confirmed. (U asking what's my suspicions rite? U just gotta refer back a few entries) Well, partially at least. After what she told me today. So y do I say it's only partially rite? Well, cos he is somemore from her past, n not someone new. I dun really know what i'm feeling when I was chatting with her. A bit of deja vu feeling, sth like "hey, din this happen to me b4?" Listening to someone I like talk abt someone she likes after he's upset her. It definitely upset me at first. Her reply of "yes" cut into my heart when I asked her if its abt someone she likes. But gradually, I started talking to her like how I would talk to any other gal, as in someone I dun have special feelings for. I dun think she has any special feelings for me yet, but at least she doesn't mind hanging out with me. For that i'm glad. So is anything going to happen? That's sth I dun have the ans for, someone else does. I wun know the ans till I make clear my stand.

I know u all r gonna ask me abt this if u all read this, but can u all pls dun? I dun feel like talking abt it yet. If I wan to say it, I will.

And finally......
Huifang Huifang Huifang Huifang Huifang Huifang Huifang Huifang Huifang Huifang Huifang Huifang Huifang Huifang Huifang Huifang Huifang Huifang

Monday, May 09, 2005

The End Of All Shit

Last fri officially marked the end of all shit from ntu. (hopefully) Had my FYP presentation that day. It was a rather simple affair actually. Just a half hr presentation to Ah Seet and another moderator guy. The moderator appeared as a nice guy initially, I managed to ans his queries as he pop qns halfway thru the presentation. However, towards the end when he qn me abt some of the mistakes in my report, I was unable to come up with a reasonable excuse. (they r real mistakes after all rite?) Then he appear to get a bit niao. Ah Seet helped out sometime though, interupting at the correct moments to utter some crap when he sense i was stuck with some qns. He also did say that my 2nd draft was a major improvement over the 1st draft, which was kinda reassuring to hear.

Had a jc class dinner after my presentation on fri. Despite my long absence in class outings, still manage to get on pretty well with the bulk of them. Among those who showed up are Lewis, Eugene, Jon, Clarence, Weian, Ben, James (though he only joined us for deserts), Yiling, Shuling, Hilda, Candice, Ga. James is getting married at the end of the yr, n Hilda will be tying the knot next march. Huijun already ROM last yr. My peers are getting married, yet it seems that i'm still a far way off from that stage. Some of us went to jurong hill after dinner and desert, just for the usual class outing hanging out crap that we used to do last time. Sat nite was spent clubbing with Eugene, Weian, n his 3 gal frens at mdm wong. It was basically a spend money-for-nothing nite, as there wasn't really any kind of incentive for me that nite.

So all in all, it sounds like i'm leading a fulfilled social life now ain't it? Wrong. Lizzy. Y aren't I spending time with Lizzy? Isn't that the most impt aspect of a social life? love-life. I like her, dun I? Or do I? Maybe only time will tell. The last time we were together was on last Mon when I accompany her to study at Harbor Front. Then on the eve of her last paper on thur, she said that she fell sick. I sms her a couple of times, but she only replied occasionally. Of coz I dun expect her to be as lively when she's down with fever. So had a couple of days where we kinda din contact much. I miss her sometimes. Well, only time will tell.

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Official Unemployment

"The moment the invigilator says 'Please stop writing', it would also mean that....... u r officially unemployed."

This was what Prof Phee said.

But for the now, I would jump at the chance to be unemployed, than to go back for another sem. The latter seems like a more probable case for now. Even with only 4 modules, I still manage to screw it up. Dun recall any other sem when I can barely do half the paper for all my modules. The past 2 nites I've been studying deep into the nite cos of the backk-to-back papers on mon n tue. At times, I feel so frustrated with myself. I had the whole sem to study for it and yet there I was, rushing like mad just to finish as much of the syllabus as possible. After that, what's left is just to psyche myself up for the paper. Mental strategy.

FYP presentation next fri. Last hurdle to clear. May will be a mth of uncertainty. Is it time to ste into the next phase of life? Or another half a yr of sch to go? Actually I'm more or less mentally prepared even if I have to stay another sem. Take it as a kind of break; a haitus for myself. My uni life have been so rushed, everything comes and goes in the blink of an eye. But of coz I'd much rather do without that. Strange to say but I feel ntg significant after the paper, which is supposed to be the last paper for me.

Met Vivian at the mrt station b4 the paper. This is likely to be the last time that I'm going to see her for a long time to come. No more sch, unlikely to ask her out, no ntg. All good things must come to an end. I guess this is it. Gotta move on now.

I bought sth for Liz today. Just sth simple and interesting. After that day at harbor front, I started to think that there might be other guys on the scene. Or rather, another guy whom she might be genuinely interested in. I din just say this out of ntg, its cos of the little little details abt her that I observed. She din let on abt anything either. Maybe I'm paranoid again.

Saturday, April 23, 2005

The Additonal Sem

As the days wear on, the possibility of the additonal sem seems to be getting more n more probable. This tot is really scaring me, but at this pt in time, there is pretty much nothing I can do abt it. I screwed up my FYP, I din prepare adequately even for my 4 modules this sem. The 460 and 487 papers din really help in reassuring me. Am I being paranoid? I mean I have screwed up some papers b4 n ended up passing. Maybe this paranoia is just because of the fact that it's my last sem? I certainly hope so. But only I alone knows how ill-prepared that I am for this sem. Being only left with 4 modules, I kind of took it too lightly for this sem. The first half of the sem was spent still dazing over Princess. After the sem break was when I start to work, but it was all on my FYP. Now with 495 and 463 imminent in 2 days, what can I pulled out from my bag of tricks?

The supreme confidence that I had, when dealing with my uni exams. Can that really help? I dare say that no one walks into the exam hall with more confidence than I do, given the amount of effort I put into my studies. This has somehow sustained me over the past 3 yrs, cos I believe that everything is mental. Approach the exam as though u r the best in the world. Heck even if u really know nuts abt it, but its the attitude that makes the diff: believe that u know, believe that u can do it.

Maybe its just cos of the little bit of smart that I have. Somehow pple ard me all has the notion that I am always capable of pulling it off. Michelle says she always has full confidence in me. Huifang says she believes in me also. But does anyone know how far gone I am this time? Regardless of that, I will just continue to believe in myself. If I shd die, I will go down fighting. But I believe in myself. I'm crunch. I always make it when it counts.

Thursday, April 14, 2005

The Legend Of Cloud Strife

It started with Cloud in 1997 - the era of IRC. Everybody has internet. Everybody chats on IRC at nite. Except me. There was even a class channel in IRC - 97s16. Still remember the nicks of the pple, some of which exists till today; Autumn, Angel, Velocity, Popiah, Natural, Lelawala, Sherman, Sael, Simple, Racer, Kramer, etc. This was where Cloud was born. It was derived from a number of idealogies. I wanted to be as unpredictable and unfathomable as the cloud. As free and unrestricted as the cloud. N as an aftertot, angel lives among the cloud. This tot was very significant back then. Remember, the year was 1997.

Cloud lived on thru IRC to ICQ. In 1999, the meaning of Cloud took on new meaning. I was enlisted to the 1st Commando Battalion - the elite of the SAF. I had my PS at that time too, and I was playing FFVII. Cloud Strife appear as the main protagonist. A loner of few words, leaving behind his hometown to join Soldier, the elite force. He tot he made Soldier 1st Class, but in fact he din. He din make it to Soldier. I din make my mark in CDO as well, I choose to take the easier way out by joining HQ. So many similarities. 2 Clouds, both joined the elite, both din make it, both tough it out to the end.

Y not Squall Leonheart of FFVIII? Y not Zidane Tribal of FFXI? Y not Titus of FFX? He doesn't have the good lucks or attitude prob of Squall. He does't have the wit and cheekiness of zidane. He doesn't have the boyishness and righteousness of titus. He has the silent and kickass attitude of Cloud Strife. Hence Cloud Strife evolved.

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

The Carrot Heads

The days of guts n glory r here again. But sad to say, the revival of the good old days also brings forth another revival. Ladies & Gentlemen, welcome to the brand new season of "Singapore Cai Tao"! Guts n glory comes with a price. The cai taos r back in action. I shd have seen it coming, the day when Lallang Lai spent over a hundred bucks for April on V-day. Mind u, this is Lallang we're talking abt. The nick Lallang doesn't come without meaning. Even if we shall be cai taos, he will no doubt be the most thrifty cai tao. haha. He set the standard when he accomplish the feat with a Harry Potter owl costing ten bucks.

But for the moment, Lettuce Lee is still the premium cai tao in the league. 80 bucks musical coming up for him. Good luck. Well, as mentioned previously, all strategies change as time passes. N at this stage in my life, being a cai tao shd no longer be held in as high regard as previously. I wouldn't mind spending on the gal I like, pampering her, surprises, etc. What's more I'm abt to exit student-hood. So money, by rite, shdn't be as much of a problem as it used to be. But then again, sometimes it's the mentality of gals that gets to me.

Sth sad happened 2 days ago. I was on 67 with Eugene on the way to his Farrer hse when the bus got involved in an accident. A biker was killed when he lost control of his bike n somehow got into the way of the bus's rear wheel, where his head was crushed. (I learnt this from Liz whom read the papers) At that moment, we alighted n what I saw was a guy lying motionless in the middle of the road in a pool of blood. It really gave me a bit of the shivers as I looked at his body lying motionless. The horrors of bike accidents. Giving me 2nd tots abt my dream of riding.

Monday, April 11, 2005

The Midnite Movie

Ok first thing to declare: my comma button is spoilt. (Is this sounding like michelle? hehe) So i shall use ";" as a replacement for my commas. Y is my comma button spoilt? cos i'm on bro's old lappie. N y m i on the lappie? Cos my comp decide to die on me. It just refused start the nite after i'm back from NUS. Of all the good time to die it must choose now when I have to correct the damn FYP. Now i can't access my Solidworks n my parts all in the comp. Sch Solidworks is 2001 version somemore. This is not suay; this is gan pua suay.

Anyway; after the plea for comments; in the last entry; I got a grand total of ............................1 !!!!! N it's from my good old bro again. So anyone whom I knew read the last entry but din comment (read as: hui); I will kill u personally. Anyway she seemed pissed just now; when i suggest she dun go for anymore platonic dates.

The comment centered on 1 idea: Guts & Glory. It's been a while since the guts n glory days of the past. haha. After so many yrs of woo-ing gals; all the strategies have been changed and amended to keep up with changing times. But 1 rule still remains: No Guts No Glory! Otherwise read as No Guts No Gals! Well I still dunno if its time for the revival of the guts n glory days; we shall see oon I suppose.

We went for a midnite show at orchard last nite. By midnite I meant 2am actually. Well it was a sat nite and spending it at home would seem such a waste. Though I've spent numerous sat nites facing the comp screen for the past yr; maybe it was becos I hadn't met Lizzy. It's been a while since I knew a gal as crazy as I would have like her to be. I like the spontaneity in her. I was in NUS the whole day but din hear from her till I was on my way home. She called n said she's bored with no programs on a sat nite. So I suggested a midnite show in town n she dun mind. So we went to watch the Pacifier at Orchard Cineleisure; and hung ard after that till abt 5am in the morning. So much like the crazy days of hanging out with min last time.