Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Hiatus

Monday was a bad day. I saw it coming all along somehow. We quarelled on Saturday, after she went Sentosa. We broke up over the phone, after which we agreed to give it another shot over the phone as well. She agreed to meet me when she reach CCK. It nv happened. She said she was tired and wana go home instead. I told her I'll be going down to Union Square. I got myself so dead drunk on beer that I concussed outside Union Square on the floor.

Sunday. We initially agreed to meet. Maybe to talk things out. Maybe just to go out just like normal. Agreed to go for a movie at Suntec. Meet ard 430pm. It was pushed to 530pm. It was cancelled cos she feeling too tired. I asked her to come over to my place. She said see how later. It din happen. She said we'll meet for dinner tomolo after work instead. I knew she was pushing it.

Monday. Late afternoon I asked where she wana go n eat. She said she doesn't feel like eating, not hungry. I asked if we're gonna meet later. She said she dunno. I knew she doesn't wana meet anymore. She doesn't wana tell me face-to-face that she wants a break up. I knew she's thinking of that. It happened anyway.

I can't work well the entire day. I took 2 days leave on Tue and Wed. I need time to sort out my feelings; to get back to life without Jess. A hiatus, I'd call it. Abeit a short one. I hope it helps me get back on my life. I still gave her morning calls for the past 2 days. She did not pick up but she did sms me afterwards.

How long would this take? The road to recovery again...

Monday, June 26, 2006

For My Dear

For my dear Jess

我真的受伤了

窗外阴天了 音乐底声了
我的心开始想你了
灯光也暗了 音乐低声了
口中的棉花糖也融化了

窗外阴天了 人是无聊了
我的心开始想你了
电话响起了 你要说话了
还以为你心里对我又想念了
怎么你声音变得冷淡了
是你变了 是你变了

灯光熄灭了 音乐静止了
滴下的眼泪已停不住了
天下起雨了 人是不快乐
我的心真的受伤了

Misery

1 mth into the relationship and it's almost over. Jess feel our characters are not suitable for each other. I know that we do have our differences, I can feel it too. She does not feel for me the way a gf should feel for a bf. I can feel that too. But we are only a mth into this relationship. Shdn't we give ourselves more time to know each other better?

I tot I can be nonchalent abt this relationship. But when I hear it coming from her; the real nonchalence in her voice. "I'll return you your things with me, and I'll return the money you lend me. You give me your bank account no." At that pt, I knew I lost.

What really hurt me is this; she said with her previous bfs, the first mth is always the honeymoon phase. But with us, there's no honeymoon phase. For this relationship, I tried my very best to be the best bf that I can be. But it is still not enough to earn that bit of feelings from her. The feeling of being a bf.

Saturday, June 24, 2006

If You Can't Bear To End A Relationship, Then Don't Start It

I'm paying the price again, but I'll see the light again.