Friday, April 01, 2005

The Contradictory Blogger

I find that rite now, i'm actually silently protesting against the very reason for the start up of this blog. Well, originally it serve as a outlet for the pent-up feelings that I had at that moment in time. Some place for me to just let it all out, since I dun really talk to my mates abt my stuffs. It's good that I still have the blog which i can relate my feelings to and at the same time, my mates could actually read it n find out what's happening in my life, or rather, my inner life. That is if they actually bother to read it. haha.

So whats the protesting all abt then? Mainly cos I dun wan to get IT jinxed by talking abt it. I was even reluctant to tell anyone that we're corresponding. So who r the 'we' that i'm talking abt? haha. Not telling, i'll remain speechless. haha. And then also if anything can ever happened between us in the future, I dun wan her to find out abt this blog of mine 1 day n say 'Aha! u got it all planned from the start!' cos I really dun have anything planned, or targeted or aimed.

I think I've changed. Still remember not too long ago in the distant past, I'd would have jumped at the opportunity of knowing someone like her. As in eager to push things forward and make things happen. Rite now, I'm actually pretty laid back n natural abt it. Not that I'm purposely trying to prove a point by being less-than-enthu or anything, just that at this moment in life, I feel that this is the best way to go abt handling matters of this nature. Well, pple learn n pple change. So there really isn't too much of a point to live by principles. The only principle I have is "There r no principles".

I think its her frenly nature that have brought her scores of frens-to-be, both virtual n in reality. N she seemed equally as easy to be freaked out by them as by the ease that she attracted them. Freaky undergrad indeed. haha. So y m i saying all this? Whats the main pt that i'm coming to? Well....... the main pt is..... I wan to talk abt this gal here without it sounding that I like her. But then, I do like her a bit, although I haven seen her yet, n if I wanted any gal in my life now, I would prefer it to be her than any other gal. Well, not too convincing that I dun like her rite? haha. Well, so be it. This is the best way that I could put it.

I dun think she knows abt the existence of this blog, or if she does, she certainly doesn't read it. So keep the secret, all of ya k ? thanx

1 comment:

TurbZ said...

i only haf 3 words for u

Mai tu liaoz