Min sms me the other day.
"Hui min here. We have not been talking for so long already. Dun u think we shd be frens again? Sch annual dinner this year."
She sms me with her new hp number, which I have deleted from my list. She's no longer using the old number which i have committed to memory. Maybe it symbolises a break from the past. My number, her number ; it seemed so linked together. She's no longer using hers, I'm still using mine. Even though I got a new number, I think I'm going to keep my old number for yrs to come.
I dunno how to reply. Heck, I dun even know how I feel at that moment. I'm quite numb, but not totally numb. What the hell do I mean by that ? haha. After digesting what her sms was asking of, I came up with 2 tots:
What happens if I say yes?
We'll add each other to msn n frenster, say a occasional 'hi' online if we feels like it. And that's abt it.
What happens if I say no?
Nothing changes. I dun get into her life, she doesn't get into my life.
So can anybody tell me the difference between the 2? In the end I did not reply her. She'll take the lack of response as a silent 'no'. But y did I choose to do that? It's not because I hate her for getting married with alvin. No doubt I'll nv agree that that was the smartest of moves. But nothing will change now that things have come to such a pass. I dun blame her, I dun blame alvin, I dun blame michelle. If there's anyone I wan to blame, it will be myself. I was stupid enough to risk a stable relationship for some fun, then I'll deserved whatever that I'm getting. But I'll not look back and regret what I've done. Dun ask me if I were to choose again, would I follow the same path I took. I dun entertain hypothetical qns.
Min, u r happily married. Dun look back and try to look for the ex bf who once lived in ur heart and broke ur heart. Not as a fren, not as a anybody. Treasure what u have now, and dun let anybody spoil it for u. You'll always be special to me, you'll always have a place in my heart. It is for the best for both of us to just let it remain as that. I have to move on. You have found ur guy, I'll be looking for mine.