Went to Queensway with Lewis the other day to accompany him to buy PS2. The new version so sleek and small, make my bulky old counterpart look like shit. But1 thing is, its cd rom is the open up type, not the sliding type. Might be prone to failure easily i tot. Anyway, b4 we got there, we took a walk ard IKEA cos he wanted to buy a box to contain all his momentos from JC times, sec sch times, etc. He found a metal container, and I bought 1 for myself too seeing that it was quite cheap and nice.
So where is all this box-buying leading to, and how is it related to the title of this entry?
Well, yesterday I was sorting out all my old letters and cards and stuffs from JC and sec sch times - to be chucked into my new blue metal box and be relegated to oblivion. But just b4 relegation, I just decide to open up a few and read thru it. A walk down memory lane. It brought back more than just memories, mostly the letters that I received in JC.
During that time, I corresponded with a number of pple: mainly Meifang, Kaixin, Hilda, and of coz Xiaowei. I read all the Xiaowei letters first. Well, our letters were mainly abt our arguments. Usually after we quarrel, we'll end up writing letter to each other, to tell each other how disappointed we r. And I actually have quite a few of those letters. There were some after we broke up too. ( mainly she wrote to me to tell me how lousy I am)
I started writing to Meifang and Kaixin in yr 2 of JC. Corresponded the most with Meifang. We wrote countless letters to each other during that 1 yr, and subsequently for a part of 1999 while I was in the army and yet to have Min as a gf. I guess gradually stopped writing after I got attached. And partly cos of the emergence of internet at home and the purchase of a handphone. More modes of communications are made possible thru these 2 inventions. When we can simply sms or chat online with frens instead of snail mail of the past and phonecalls. (And it is exactly these that made me lose my infamous chee hong skills)
Reading thru these letters, 1 fact stared me in the face. I have changed. Changed into someone completely different from who I used to be back in those days. Most prob pple would ask "Got meh?" Of coz the exterior hasn't changed, I still joke ard and crap ard with everybody on the preface. But it's my mind that's changed. Guess no one really knows me much from the past, as is the present. Actually I believe even until today, my close frens dun really know the real me.
I used to be a dreamer. I used to believe in love. My mentality was pure and to a extent, naive. I used to like to express how I feel thru song lyrics (I still do now, just that I don't tell pple abt it) I love to do that, cos it seemed so poetic, so coincidence that someone is singing what's happening to you. Now I'm a cynic. When it comes to love, I'm skeptical. Maybe it's what I went thru. Maybe it's what I witness from my frens and the pple ard me. I became a realist. In a sense, this is the real world. No longer like the world we imagine when we were still innocent teenagers at sch. Well, at least I'm prepared for the real world now. (which was after I went thru whatever that came my way)