Sunday, January 01, 2006

Some Feelings Never Die

It's been a whirlwind 2 weeks since my last trip to Shanghai, which coincide with my last entry as well. December is usually the most-awaited month, and it pass by just like that, with all the holidays and feative celebrations.

I remember my age-old saying, that weird things happen in December. Brings back the JC memories of 97 & 98. The same pple whom I proclaimed was most precious to me, prior to my enlistment. The class of 97S16. We did not keep together as a whole thru-out these yrs, but everytime we met up, the bonds nv seemed to have been broken. Been mixing ard with my JC mates slightly more regularly in December, thus invoking such feelings I guess.

Yiling, Shuling, Sandy, Eugene, Lewis & I gathered for a nite of board game fun at Eugene's Farrer place on Xmas eve. Next we attended James wedding on the 26th, and then there was the New Year Eve party at Zouk last nite, where Sandy, Candice, Yiling, Shuling Eugene & I went for. This is actually the 1st time that I clubbed with the class gals in a long while I guess, barring those miniscule pubbing nites at Samsara eons ago. It actually happened to be Shuling's 1st clubbing experience, from the looks of which I think she enjoyed herself quite a bit. =)

Work is taking up too much of my energy to really pursue my love life. I just could not gather the energy to be initiative, to ask gals out, to try to make sth happen. It might be so far there's no gal who has a pronounced effect on me to want it happen so bad. So I've just been passively moving along, taking a chance at what might come my way. But this is not the way I want things to be, I prefer to choose what I want, who I want. I don't want to compromise no more.

At the same time, some feelings never really die. I think Min will be in my heart for the rest of my life. I truely believe we were meant to be together, had we not been so stubborn, so wilful in our youth. We did not cherish each other, but she lives on in my mind forever.

I was on Gillian's frenster site and saw she posted the pic we took together at her convocation with Xinyi. I dun know what that meant. She is supposed to be disgusted with me. It might not mean anything after all. She was another 2nd chance which I had blown. It might have been for the better, cos till now I'm still not very convinced we might be compatible. I used to not believe in character clashes until I met her.

Another feeling that did not die. I always tot it did, but apparently it resurfaced. Well, it happened ages ago, and this one I'm pretty sure there wun be any 2nd chance. There wasn't any 1st chance to begin with. I dun even wan to mention names, it might cause too much controversy.

Some feelings did die anyway, and I'm glad that they died. I met up with Princess 2 weeks ago. It was an impromptu idea, when we chatted online during my overtime. We met up and went for dinner at Bishan for sushi. I dun feel much for her anymore. Looking back, it seemed dumb how I could have been so distraught over it all last yr.

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