Thursday, March 15, 2007

Wise Saying From Lala

Lala said to find myself first; and then I'll know what I want. So where does this lead me?

Finding myself. Physically I'm located at my office desk currently. In a broader sense, I can be found (most of the time) in the northwestern part of Singapore, which is part of the continent of Asia, which belongs to the planet Earth, which is the 3rd planet from the Sun, in a galaxy known as the Milky Way, an infinitesimal portion of the boundless universe. (so much for finding myself)

I've nv been too particular abt the gal who I want to spend the rest of my life with. In the sense that I do not set too extreme limits or restrictions as to what type of gals r out of limit, not acceptable, etc. I used to believe that there r no such things as "wrong frequency". I still believe in that now, though I think that what some pple perceives as "wrong frequency" is actually more of a case of "wrong expectations".

And how does this wrong expectations come abt? This would mean that from the start, the guy is trying to be someone whom he isn't. To put up a facade, either to impress the gal, to mould himself into the kind of guy he tot the gal would like, or simply as a poseur. But he can't pose forever. So sooner or later, the real him would stealthly creep back into him, and the gal would detect traces of characrteristics that weren't there in the first place. Before long, the situation will deteriorate so badly that the guy is but a shadow of his former self (in the gal's opinion) and thus she will label him as "wrong frequency" or communication failure.

Well, I ever got caught in such a scenario b4, which made me abhor the idea of needing to be someone else in order to get the gal. I relish the idea of meeting a gal who is like Min, someone whom I can truely be myself and who will love me for being myself. I tot I found it in Piggy. Cos I really like how we click, not cos of how she looks. Seems fate has other plans for me though.

When I was younger, I would go for looks first (I'm a mighty realistic guy), and attempt to establish the flow with her later. A whack-first-see-how-later approach. As I grow up, all this doesn't seem to matter as much (I still like babes, just to set the records str =P), but I still end up without what I wanted. So you think what my msn nick says is true? 爱不爱都受煎熬


audrey said...

Hey there..

What i think lala meant is that you need to first establish your own know what you like, what you come to a firm stand on what you find acceptable and what is not.

While we should not set expectations that are sky high, we should also not have zero expections and just go with the flow.

If we do not yet have a strong sense of identity before entering a relationship, we may just end up moulding ourselves into a person we think our partner wants. This, ultimately kills the relationship, as you will become very unhappy at the later stage.

As they say, you are a complete person in yourself and need not another to make yourself whole. :)

lala said...

i cant agree enough with the 3rd para abt trying to be someone you aint really are.... what you made out the person to be or wat he put across to you isnt wat he really is... and when you discover that it is all but a facade... when the fox's tail is revealed, it can be quite a put off and its disgusting sometimes... jus be wat you are... those who dun noe how to appreciate it ..ignore them... there are bound to be those who do...