Eugene told me abt this theory recently. That no matter how much ur gift cost, u will score only 1 point with the gal. So for any occasion, whether u give a waist-height mashimaro, a cheapskate harry potter owl hedwig, a pathetic tatty teddy bear in a box, or a ice-cream stick hse, u r still gonna score only 1 point for that occasion. Sounds like a good theory to follow rite? haha. Well, this is for all the cheapskates out there. (me included, haha)
Today is Valentine's Day. I restrained myself from doing anything for anybody. Dun ask me what's the point, it's just sth I wana do for this yr's v-day. Self-restraint. To not get myself involved with anyone for the time being. But the ever-romantic (or rather carrot-like) romeo in me always try to induce me to part with some money to invest in some surprises for someone who wun bother with me.
(Note : these r the ideas I have in mind at first, but by the time that i'm writing this means the times have already pass for any of it to take place. So its all fictitous. Occurs in my tots only)
The first idea was to send flowers to her place, i've got her address anyway. Then while at lot 1 with lewis last nite, I saw Phantom Of The Opera OST, n tot of buying it for her or for myself even so that I can burn the songs for her. We had a talk the other nite, on the phone this time. It's been a while since I heard her voice. Somehow i'm not as fluid as I used to be when talking to her this time. She has moved on long ago, n there r new guys in her life already. It's really hard to appear nonchalent abt it as we chat, hard to hide the tinge of disappointment. I think she sensed it as well, as our phonecall ended not long after that.
The immediate feeling is of coz fucked-up. But as I tried to gather the anger and bitterness within me, I found that I couldn't do it. I actually felt happier to give her my blessings, to wish her to find her happiness again somewhere, to see her finally undo the knot in her mind. This is sth which I found very hard to do in the past, to give my blessings. So maybe there is some truth in the saying that if u love someone, u only want them to be happy. Right now I only want to see her overcome her knot in her heart. A quote from adeline's frenster profile, "You being to accept your defeats with your heads up and your eyes ahead with the grace of an adult and not the grief of a child." I would like to say this to everyone else in the world who facing any setbacks in their lives too. I think I've grown again.
Eugene just called. To summarise, we r in the same boat again. Welcome to the club! We've just renewed our memebership with the BC.(Bachelors' Club) Several times we tried to tender our resignation but it seems we r so invaluable to the club that they refuse to let us withdraw. So we'll just have to keep jon company for a while more. (btw, jon's a lifetime member =P) Anyway, tonite's the make-or-break nite for lewis also. Somehow I think he'll succeed. 1 less member for the BC. =)