Just Some Fucked-Up Shit

I'm getting more and more fed-up with my job and all the crap that comes along with my "beloved" customer from mainland. I haven't had a weekend without disturbance for months. Something would just seem to go wrong every Friday evening and fucked up my weekend. And they have to call me on weekend mornings to tell me some crapshit which I already known. And it would not only be 1 phonecall. It would be a few of them, just to say the same old crapshit all over again. Come on, if it's not anything new, fuck the early morning calls and let me get my rest. And I know someone up there is thinking I'm not doing a good job with my program, and at the same time still assigns me to take over some other guy's program which is now in a mess and expects me to clean up the shit for him, while he gets all the recognition. This is life. But I've no intention to take shit from no one. I can tolerate the non-recognition but anything further than that, you're pushing ur luck. When need be, "screw you guys, I'm going home~"

I feel that I'm in a crossroad in my life in every aspect all over again. Fed up with my job, stuck in limbo with my social life, non-existent is my love life. I've taken salsa for almost close to a yr now, but currently I'm pretty much considered a drop-out student. I longed to anyhow grab a gal and hit the dance floor like everyone else, but I'm still not at that level, despite having picked up salsa for so long. Maybe I'm just not meant to dance, or maybe in the first place I appraoched salsa with a lackadaisical attitude. More like some activity to pass time than a passion. Salsa resolutions: retake the intermediate levels and hit the salsa dance floor all over again. Master Bachata and Rueda.

Now now, what's there to speak of of a love life that is non-existent? I'm back to my old ways already, enjoying the pleasures of singlehood. Jesslyn was but a flash-in-the-pan. (and a pain-in-the-ass) Gals, they come and they go. Prob I had some external help, with Serene being a healthy distraction. But then again, perhaps it's not really that healthy, with she being attached and having another of my fren sort of interested in her. I'll be fine if I dun allow myself to fall, so long everything is still within my control. Just a distraction.

Happy Birthday After All !

If I had said it once, I'd say it again. The Beast will be back, and he is now back.

Just some last remnants of the Andy-Jess affair. She deleted me from her Frenster. Then I saw her on msn 1 day with comments beside her nick : "Hehe... My deardear is the BEST!" I checked her Frenster profile. In A Relationship. Not to say I did not expect this. In fact I knew it's gonna be sth like this anytime. Sometimes gals can be just so full of bullshit. Especially little gals like her. Well, be it. I'm not much affected. When things come to such a stand, it's no longer a case of being over it. It's more like she's not worth it.

My birthday came and went in a subtly eventful way. Early in the morning before I reach work, got a call from my sup asking me where I was. They actually got a card for me for my birthday. Sth unexpected, from a seemingly dull office enviroment. Haha. As the day goes on, the birthday sms started to trickle in. I must say Frenster played a big part in this. Serene left me a bday testimonial. After work was Rueda time. They remembered as well. Qi Xiao bought me sth too. All these sms and little gestures. It does mean sth to me.

Thank you,
Hanxi, Lewis, Eugene, Sok, Duckie, Cynthia, Serene, Hui, Min, Kit, Nicolette, Pris, Christine, Qiqi, Sandy, Michi, Vivian, Fab, Qi Xiao, Johnny, Ai Chin, Ellen, Zhaojun.
To all those who care.

Some photos from my mini birthday celebration at Settlers' Cafe with JC mates.

A normal looking grp photo. =)

Whack the birthday boy!

One with the hunks

One with the babes

We played Cranium (Duckie's crazy over this game) , and Monopoly LOTR edition. It was pretty fun (I bought Mount Doom already leh.... It was the Mayfair spot on normal Monopoly), but Duckie keep pressing for a change of game. Somehow, Cranium doesn't seem to be my game. The few times I played all on the losing team. After the games, we went to Essential Brew for some tea on a rainy day.

(Un)Happy Birthday?

I have pretty much come to terms with the end of the relationship. We had a talk over the phone on Thur nite, which made me see that there was no way I could have made her stay. The situation is just that futile; she being barely 20 and stuffs. There's gonna be a lot more changes ahead even if it did not end now. Now, I've just got to get my hp back from her and the chapter can be closed. I'm having mixed feelings abt this. I dunno how I'd feel when I see her. I rather I don't see her, if just for maintaining the peace in my mind now. But then again, so be it lah. I'd prob run into her in CCK numerous times in the future. Get used to it soon least I run into her holding someone else's hand.

The past weekend was eventful. Helped Hanxi celebrate Serene's birthday at West Coast park along with her frens. It was meant to be sort of a surprise to her. Me and 3 other of her frens, Blythe, Michelle and Weiqi stationed ourselves at West Coast Park and arranged a heart shape with candles on the sand. Then Hanxi brought Serene and after that we all stayed at Mac to watch the remaining of the England Vs Portugal match. Well, even if i can't be happy, at least I can help other couples be happy.

My birthday comes exactly 10 days after hers. Actually to me, birthdays are ntg special, especially at this age. Don't really have the intention to throw a grand party or paint the town red. But Jess did ever suggest while we were still together to celebrate my birthday together. She asked me what I wanted for present, which I told her that I don't need presents. We'll just go for a date, movie n dinner or sth to that effect. Another time she even asked me what kinda cake I want. Gone with the wind. Gone is her heart.

Guess no matter what I do now on that day, I'll still be blanketed by the thought of her celebrating birthday with me. Just let it pass uneventfully, it's only 1 day.