Official Unemployment

"The moment the invigilator says 'Please stop writing', it would also mean that....... u r officially unemployed."

This was what Prof Phee said.

But for the now, I would jump at the chance to be unemployed, than to go back for another sem. The latter seems like a more probable case for now. Even with only 4 modules, I still manage to screw it up. Dun recall any other sem when I can barely do half the paper for all my modules. The past 2 nites I've been studying deep into the nite cos of the backk-to-back papers on mon n tue. At times, I feel so frustrated with myself. I had the whole sem to study for it and yet there I was, rushing like mad just to finish as much of the syllabus as possible. After that, what's left is just to psyche myself up for the paper. Mental strategy.

FYP presentation next fri. Last hurdle to clear. May will be a mth of uncertainty. Is it time to ste into the next phase of life? Or another half a yr of sch to go? Actually I'm more or less mentally prepared even if I have to stay another sem. Take it as a kind of break; a haitus for myself. My uni life have been so rushed, everything comes and goes in the blink of an eye. But of coz I'd much rather do without that. Strange to say but I feel ntg significant after the paper, which is supposed to be the last paper for me.

Met Vivian at the mrt station b4 the paper. This is likely to be the last time that I'm going to see her for a long time to come. No more sch, unlikely to ask her out, no ntg. All good things must come to an end. I guess this is it. Gotta move on now.

I bought sth for Liz today. Just sth simple and interesting. After that day at harbor front, I started to think that there might be other guys on the scene. Or rather, another guy whom she might be genuinely interested in. I din just say this out of ntg, its cos of the little little details abt her that I observed. She din let on abt anything either. Maybe I'm paranoid again.

The Additonal Sem

As the days wear on, the possibility of the additonal sem seems to be getting more n more probable. This tot is really scaring me, but at this pt in time, there is pretty much nothing I can do abt it. I screwed up my FYP, I din prepare adequately even for my 4 modules this sem. The 460 and 487 papers din really help in reassuring me. Am I being paranoid? I mean I have screwed up some papers b4 n ended up passing. Maybe this paranoia is just because of the fact that it's my last sem? I certainly hope so. But only I alone knows how ill-prepared that I am for this sem. Being only left with 4 modules, I kind of took it too lightly for this sem. The first half of the sem was spent still dazing over Princess. After the sem break was when I start to work, but it was all on my FYP. Now with 495 and 463 imminent in 2 days, what can I pulled out from my bag of tricks?

The supreme confidence that I had, when dealing with my uni exams. Can that really help? I dare say that no one walks into the exam hall with more confidence than I do, given the amount of effort I put into my studies. This has somehow sustained me over the past 3 yrs, cos I believe that everything is mental. Approach the exam as though u r the best in the world. Heck even if u really know nuts abt it, but its the attitude that makes the diff: believe that u know, believe that u can do it.

Maybe its just cos of the little bit of smart that I have. Somehow pple ard me all has the notion that I am always capable of pulling it off. Michelle says she always has full confidence in me. Huifang says she believes in me also. But does anyone know how far gone I am this time? Regardless of that, I will just continue to believe in myself. If I shd die, I will go down fighting. But I believe in myself. I'm crunch. I always make it when it counts.

The Legend Of Cloud Strife

It started with Cloud in 1997 - the era of IRC. Everybody has internet. Everybody chats on IRC at nite. Except me. There was even a class channel in IRC - 97s16. Still remember the nicks of the pple, some of which exists till today; Autumn, Angel, Velocity, Popiah, Natural, Lelawala, Sherman, Sael, Simple, Racer, Kramer, etc. This was where Cloud was born. It was derived from a number of idealogies. I wanted to be as unpredictable and unfathomable as the cloud. As free and unrestricted as the cloud. N as an aftertot, angel lives among the cloud. This tot was very significant back then. Remember, the year was 1997.

Cloud lived on thru IRC to ICQ. In 1999, the meaning of Cloud took on new meaning. I was enlisted to the 1st Commando Battalion - the elite of the SAF. I had my PS at that time too, and I was playing FFVII. Cloud Strife appear as the main protagonist. A loner of few words, leaving behind his hometown to join Soldier, the elite force. He tot he made Soldier 1st Class, but in fact he din. He din make it to Soldier. I din make my mark in CDO as well, I choose to take the easier way out by joining HQ. So many similarities. 2 Clouds, both joined the elite, both din make it, both tough it out to the end.

Y not Squall Leonheart of FFVIII? Y not Zidane Tribal of FFXI? Y not Titus of FFX? He doesn't have the good lucks or attitude prob of Squall. He does't have the wit and cheekiness of zidane. He doesn't have the boyishness and righteousness of titus. He has the silent and kickass attitude of Cloud Strife. Hence Cloud Strife evolved.

The Carrot Heads

The days of guts n glory r here again. But sad to say, the revival of the good old days also brings forth another revival. Ladies & Gentlemen, welcome to the brand new season of "Singapore Cai Tao"! Guts n glory comes with a price. The cai taos r back in action. I shd have seen it coming, the day when Lallang Lai spent over a hundred bucks for April on V-day. Mind u, this is Lallang we're talking abt. The nick Lallang doesn't come without meaning. Even if we shall be cai taos, he will no doubt be the most thrifty cai tao. haha. He set the standard when he accomplish the feat with a Harry Potter owl costing ten bucks.

But for the moment, Lettuce Lee is still the premium cai tao in the league. 80 bucks musical coming up for him. Good luck. Well, as mentioned previously, all strategies change as time passes. N at this stage in my life, being a cai tao shd no longer be held in as high regard as previously. I wouldn't mind spending on the gal I like, pampering her, surprises, etc. What's more I'm abt to exit student-hood. So money, by rite, shdn't be as much of a problem as it used to be. But then again, sometimes it's the mentality of gals that gets to me.

Sth sad happened 2 days ago. I was on 67 with Eugene on the way to his Farrer hse when the bus got involved in an accident. A biker was killed when he lost control of his bike n somehow got into the way of the bus's rear wheel, where his head was crushed. (I learnt this from Liz whom read the papers) At that moment, we alighted n what I saw was a guy lying motionless in the middle of the road in a pool of blood. It really gave me a bit of the shivers as I looked at his body lying motionless. The horrors of bike accidents. Giving me 2nd tots abt my dream of riding.

The Midnite Movie

Ok first thing to declare: my comma button is spoilt. (Is this sounding like michelle? hehe) So i shall use ";" as a replacement for my commas. Y is my comma button spoilt? cos i'm on bro's old lappie. N y m i on the lappie? Cos my comp decide to die on me. It just refused start the nite after i'm back from NUS. Of all the good time to die it must choose now when I have to correct the damn FYP. Now i can't access my Solidworks n my parts all in the comp. Sch Solidworks is 2001 version somemore. This is not suay; this is gan pua suay.

Anyway; after the plea for comments; in the last entry; I got a grand total of ............................1 !!!!! N it's from my good old bro again. So anyone whom I knew read the last entry but din comment (read as: hui); I will kill u personally. Anyway she seemed pissed just now; when i suggest she dun go for anymore platonic dates.

The comment centered on 1 idea: Guts & Glory. It's been a while since the guts n glory days of the past. haha. After so many yrs of woo-ing gals; all the strategies have been changed and amended to keep up with changing times. But 1 rule still remains: No Guts No Glory! Otherwise read as No Guts No Gals! Well I still dunno if its time for the revival of the guts n glory days; we shall see oon I suppose.

We went for a midnite show at orchard last nite. By midnite I meant 2am actually. Well it was a sat nite and spending it at home would seem such a waste. Though I've spent numerous sat nites facing the comp screen for the past yr; maybe it was becos I hadn't met Lizzy. It's been a while since I knew a gal as crazy as I would have like her to be. I like the spontaneity in her. I was in NUS the whole day but din hear from her till I was on my way home. She called n said she's bored with no programs on a sat nite. So I suggested a midnite show in town n she dun mind. So we went to watch the Pacifier at Orchard Cineleisure; and hung ard after that till abt 5am in the morning. So much like the crazy days of hanging out with min last time.

The Long-Awaited Comment

I finally have someone leave me a comment!!! wahahaha... After all these while. 5 mths of blogging without a single miserable comment!!!! Haha... anyway, I think there is at most only 10 readers of this blog. So how to have comments if everyone also dao like me. heh heh.... Prove me wrong k? Everyone who read this entry, pls write sth for me. keke =P

Ah Seet finally pull stunt on me liao. Email me on the day b4 his departure to take back my FYP for corrections. So I missed the email, n ended up taking my FYP back just 2 days ago. I want more details! The structure is wrong! Not engineering enough! Too many pictures! And 460 paper in 11 days' time. How? How? How?

I met the speechless gal. She's interesting. She's fun. She's unique. She's speechless.

The Contradictory Blogger

I find that rite now, i'm actually silently protesting against the very reason for the start up of this blog. Well, originally it serve as a outlet for the pent-up feelings that I had at that moment in time. Some place for me to just let it all out, since I dun really talk to my mates abt my stuffs. It's good that I still have the blog which i can relate my feelings to and at the same time, my mates could actually read it n find out what's happening in my life, or rather, my inner life. That is if they actually bother to read it. haha.

So whats the protesting all abt then? Mainly cos I dun wan to get IT jinxed by talking abt it. I was even reluctant to tell anyone that we're corresponding. So who r the 'we' that i'm talking abt? haha. Not telling, i'll remain speechless. haha. And then also if anything can ever happened between us in the future, I dun wan her to find out abt this blog of mine 1 day n say 'Aha! u got it all planned from the start!' cos I really dun have anything planned, or targeted or aimed.

I think I've changed. Still remember not too long ago in the distant past, I'd would have jumped at the opportunity of knowing someone like her. As in eager to push things forward and make things happen. Rite now, I'm actually pretty laid back n natural abt it. Not that I'm purposely trying to prove a point by being less-than-enthu or anything, just that at this moment in life, I feel that this is the best way to go abt handling matters of this nature. Well, pple learn n pple change. So there really isn't too much of a point to live by principles. The only principle I have is "There r no principles".

I think its her frenly nature that have brought her scores of frens-to-be, both virtual n in reality. N she seemed equally as easy to be freaked out by them as by the ease that she attracted them. Freaky undergrad indeed. haha. So y m i saying all this? Whats the main pt that i'm coming to? Well....... the main pt is..... I wan to talk abt this gal here without it sounding that I like her. But then, I do like her a bit, although I haven seen her yet, n if I wanted any gal in my life now, I would prefer it to be her than any other gal. Well, not too convincing that I dun like her rite? haha. Well, so be it. This is the best way that I could put it.

I dun think she knows abt the existence of this blog, or if she does, she certainly doesn't read it. So keep the secret, all of ya k ? thanx