Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Woe Betide The F**ker Who Stole My Bag

It took me 25 years to experience my first bag theft. Some fucker actually stole my bag at Lot 1 arcade while I had my back turned, playing the stupid army game. Items lost include: 1 large shower towel, 1 small face towel, 1 renoma sweat shirt, 1 asics running shorts, 1 crocodile underwear, 1 sony ericson earpiece, 1 black comb, 1 lighter, 1 M1 hp bill, 1 Starhub hp bill. Hopefully the bugger will help me pay my hp bills, or m i hoping too much? Well, all in all, no major losses. But still I will kill that fucker if i find him.

Yest was an eventful day. I went California Fitness gym with Ruimin, who got me a free 2 week trial membership. But b4 that, I have to endure an arduous 1 hr of the lady getting me to sign up. Then I broke my legs during the Bodypump class with the torturous squats. The squash session on sunday took my legs a lot more than i tot. Then we met up with Eugene n Lewis to watch Initial D at Lot 1 at nite. Which was also when I lost my bag. Well, Liz din like my bag anyway.

The squash session was ..... in 1 word, uneventful. The most amazing thing that happened is that nothing happened. This was the 1st time I seen Princess since that fateful nite when she pulled her disappearing act. We talked, we laughed, we played, and everything went smooth. But the flame is faint. I wouldn't say extinguished, but faint. I wouldn't say she is an unfinished chapter in my life anymore, the fairytale has concluded and we've moved on.

I'm meeting Gillian on the coming fri for War Of The Worlds. I think I'll label this week Old Flame Week. Meeting up with 2 of my past flames in a week. Any other flames wish to meet up this week??? After we concluded 3 yrs ago, I've only met n talked to her in person on a chance meeting on the train 2 yrs back.

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Little Starry


starry

I met up with Liz b4 her flight on fri. We went ktv-ing at Lot 1. She told me she's got a new suitor now. I dunno how to feel abt that. The guy is working, drives n rides, showers her with gifts, n has been giving her a lot of attention and being very aggressive. But she's telling me that he's freaking her out. But then again, who can believe what gals said? She might not be really feeling that way. Gals. Incomprehensible creatures.

I gave her a plushie soft toy starfish which she called starry. (See above) She seem to like it quite a lot. I seldom give her presents, save for beanie and starry. Actually sometimes I wonder how she feels abt me. At times, she will call to talk, or even ask me to meet up. Is that a sign that I'm just like a buddy-buddy pal or is it an indication that she likes my company n can progress to sth more? I dun seem to fall in any category that she classifies her guy frens. I'm not close enough as a pal, nor in the same league as her so-called freaky net guy frens she met up with.

Anyway, min visited my Multiply page. I wondered what took her so long, I must have visited her page like weeks back? And the only photo album that she took interest in were the one captioned 'My Leading Ladies'.

Monday, June 13, 2005

A Page From 2002


My replacement pic. I tried my best ok...

A photo that brings back a lot of memories. That time was nearing the end of my attempt to go after her. She told me that it was kinda imposssible for us to be together but I was bent on trying to make it work. I still remember the kind of renewed vigor I had, upon deciding that I shall give whatever I have to try to make it work out. The kind of 'I shall overcome all obstacles' feeling.

I told her that we look very compatible in the pic. I said it not just as a passing remark, but cos I really do feel that we look very nice together in this pic.

Finding The Balance

Right now I'm trying to find back the balance in my life; emotional balance, in terms of affection for gals. The cause of my recent disturbance would no doubt be Vellene. Her appearance actually caused my interest for Liz to diminish, which I think is not such a bad thing as well. Liz has too much life already. She has programs for almost everyday of the week. Had my interest level remain as high, I would have died waiting for the day when she's free to go out with me. We meet up like once a week, n I find it quite satisfying for now.

Sometimes its quite ironic how fast or sudden things and situations change, unexpected events happen which catch us totally off guard. Prior to last sat, everything was still going kind well. I'm still one of the guys she eager to chat with online, till the sat she met up with her visiting Taiwanese frens. Who would have expected that a whole grab of Taiwanese guys came instead, let alone 2 of them to be interested in her, and the worst part that she sad be interested in them. I mean come on, they dun even speak English! n she's a potato somemore. So suddenly I became someone she talked to when she's free. The 2 guys r taking up all her time online. I feel especially irritated when she put her nick in Chinese. It's as good as telling me she's happily chatting with them. Up to a pt I dun even wana msg her when I see her online. All the talk abt meeting up, it's not going to materialize anytime soon. Even if it is, I dun really want it to be now as well. The significance wun be there when she's still crazy over the 2 Taiwanese.

A note to all the clueless gals (Blackie) out there, those who are bewildered by the number of gals' name that appear in my blog: this is the kind of life that every single guy out there is leading. It is mathematically not possible for a guy to be only involved/interested in only 1 gal at any moment in their life. Dun even try to kid urself that it is possible, or ur bf is ONLY interested in u. Note: the term 'interested' is loosely defined. But this is not to say that all guys r fickle-minded. The difference lies in the degree of priority that these gals have in the guy's mind.

Well, just got niao-ed by Blackie for having so many gals' name mentioned in my blog. Hard as it might be to believe, I would also rather have fewer gals who r involved in my life. Preferably just one. That would be sufficient. The one. But who is she? Or rather where is she? I gotta get back the neutrality in my life first, for me to be able to know.

Monday, June 06, 2005

The Final Farewell

The final farewell came on the 31st of May. 2 days earlier than expected. And I have done it again, although with much help this time I suspect. Cleared my final sem. Weeks of worry came to an end finally, and I even had a B for my FYP. I really have Ah Seet to thank for this. The moment of truth was revealed on a sunny tue afternoon. The sight that greeted me got me momentarily stunned, b4 the relief and ectacsy set it. I have finally graduated. The immediate feeling was kinda indescribable. The closest I can get to describing it is that: At that moment, I feel like I can take on the world.

I've done it again for the final time, pulling it off again. The only smear on my record would be I failed M363 in yr 3. And of coz the fact that I only got a 3rd class honours. I remember my dream when I first stepped into NTU, that I would graduate with 2nd Upper honours. That dream soon faded into an expcectation of 2nd Lower honours at most, which further faded into a reality of 3rd class honours. I guess I only have myself to blame for that, cos I really din kinda slack off in my 3rd and 4th yr. Too much distractions.

Sometimes I wonder if Liz had ever read my blog, and she just kept quiet abt it. Act blur. Haha. Up till now, I'm still taking it easy regarding her. We're still going out, ard once a week at least. Just that my interest level seem to have taken a dip. That can be credited to the emergence of Vellene, but I've yet to meet her. Nothing's conclusive after I've actually seen her in person I guess. And maybe cos of Michelle too?? We been kinda close these few days. The other day, she came to CCK to meet me for a while b4 going down to orchard. We took a photo with my hp at Mac, and she had her head on my shoulder. At that moment, she felt so much like my gf. But she disappointed me the other nite. That's all I have to say. Her way of thinking, is really disappointing.

I had a rather heartfelt talk with Gillian the other nite. We seemed to be able to talk so much better now. It might be because I've changed, or maybe it's cos of the fact that I'm not after her, so there isn't a need to put on a front and I can be free to say whatever I'm feeling. She expressed that she is appreciative of my efforts when I was after her 3 yrs ago. Well, the tot did cross my mind, that if I had done the same things today, the outcome might be a different story. So might this set the stage for Andy-Gillian part 2? I'd be lying if I said I din tot of it, but then a tot remains a tot until it's set into action rite? For now, let sleeping lions lie.

The Childhood Sweetheart

This entry is dedicated to Huifang, who has been demanding to have her name mentioned in this silly blog. See how I played her in the last entry? Whahaha. Ok, now I better come up with a decent entry abt her b4 she decide to quit her job as my sexy secretary. So I will relate my life story abt her now. Whahaha. Warning: the following stuff is gonna sound extremely childish. Can't be blamed cos most of it happened 12 yrs ago?

Hmm.. this gal, I have known her for 12 yrs altogether now. Though it wasn't constant contact thru these 12 yrs. She kinda disappeared from my life after sec 3 n reappeared only a couple of yrs ago in 2002. Here's how it started:

The year is 1993. The scene is the old BP campus, inside class 1A.

Sujing: what do u think of that gal? (pointing to huifang) Her name is Song Huifang.

Me: not bad loh, y leh?

Sujing: I think she's the prettiest in the class, I'm going to go after her.

Hence I started to notice this gal, whom many regard as the class belle. (Though vehemently denied by Yibao, who insisted that Xiumei is the best) Every morning when we make our way to the class from assembly, Huifang would pass by our seats in order to get to her seat. I started the usual teasing commonly done by pre-pubescent teens. So whenever she walked pass, I would call her "Sujing de ma zi". Sujing would then retaliate by calling her "Minghua de ma zi".

The kind of interactions that we have at that time r mostly the childish sort. Like during the time b4 assembly, where the guys n gals will be sitting with their cliques at the assembly ground. At that time, Ruili revealed that he likes Guat Yee. So we would do things like drop his wallet to the gals, n do stuffs that makes use of the pretext of Ruili liking Guat Yee to talk to Huifang. Every evening after sch, I'll make sure I get to the bus-stop fast, just so that I can wave goodbye to Huifang who's taking bus at the opposite bus-stop.

It was after the mid-year exams that we had any kind of more proper interactions. Sujing n I made silly bets like who can get to know her exam marks n such. So every evening after watching the 7pm show, I would call n chat her up. It wasn't exactly what u would call constructive conversation. Just the kind of kiddish banter that u would expect of 13 yr olds. Well, things seem to simmer down after the sch was relocated to its new premise at CCK. By this time, the whole class had kind of acknowledged that I was Huifang's primary suitor. Somehow, Sujing's status as a suitor seemed to have evaporated. It was kind of a bittersweet feeling, that classmates would all tease me abt her, painting the illusion that she n I r a likely couple. But only I myself known that she has yet to shown any form of positive signs abt me. Gradually I did realised that she doesn't like me. But yet I have to take the constant teasings by everyone, having to smile n laugh just to bring over the awkwardness of the moment, knowing that she does not like me. The heart-wrenching feeling, not many pple understood at that time.

1993 came to an end without much fanfare. However, I tot things had changed for the better come 1994. This yr remained as the freshest n most memorable times I had of sec sch. Cos it seemed every thing that's significant for me took place in that yr. The frenships that I had; the clique had grown. Sujing, Nose n I became known as the 3 Musketeers. In time to come, Longjia joined the clique as well, with Raymond, Ruili n Yibao occasionally joining us too. The 2 most impt gals to me at that time - Huifang n Xiumei. The feeling in the air of that era. I could still smell it sometime. It's hard to imagine that was already more than 10 years ago.

Thru sheer luck, I ended up sitting beside Huifang on the 1st day of sec 2. Thou technically speaking, my table was combined with Huiqian's, with Huifang's table seperated by a walkway. Well, I thought heaven might be trying to tell me sth, but putting me together with her again. It turned out to be ntg more than wishful thinking. Sec 2 saw the forming of the 3 Musketeers, which would eventually lead to my downfall, when we introduce Nose to the fray. I went thru a yr of sometimes liking Huifang, sometimes liking Xiumei. I guess I kinda got distracted after Huifang's birthday.

I gave her a heart shaped music box, to which I din really get much reciprocation but a 'thank you'. Got kinda disheartened after that, and I was moved to sit beside Xiumei on the 2nd week of sch nonetheless, making me in proximity with her more. The yr went by, numerous ups and downs, n in the end the outcome was more or less clear to me. It would turn out to be Nose. Somehow, Sujing had managed to talk to Huifang and uncover who she really likes. I suspect he told Nose but he nv told me abt it. But somehow, Nose would pretend that he didn't know. This got me pissed. To be in the unknown. And during the dec holidays, they stopped contacting me. No more do they call me up to talk, or to go out. Now Longjia has joined the group, and it was no longer my gang.

Fine if it were to turn out this way. I would not lower my pride to just join in like what Sujing did. Join the victor. That was how he always behaved. Be part of the 'in' group. Hence that signalled the end of the frenship that we had built up for the yr. To fall out over a gal might not be the best way of ending a frenship, but it has made me see the heart of these pple whom I called 'friends'.