Saturday, February 26, 2005

What To Blog.....

Hmmm...... not really in the blogging mood for the past many days. Why??? Maybe cos of the lack of things to talk abt, mainly the lack of any gal problems i would say. So is that a good or bad thing? Seriously i dun mind things the way it is now. No one in mind, but i'm actually happy. Just hanging out with my mates. Seems like the BC is offcially back in business again (not that it was ever gone with Jon in there). Princess n me are no more, Eugene n Lorraine r pretty far apart too, and now Lewis n April seems not too not in too good a state, judging by Lewis' state in recent days.

Excellent start of the yr I would say. hahaha. Well, at least now that we're all back to zero, it can be a new start too. Though i'm sure the both of them would rather hold on, but think i'll be moving in the alternate direction. I'm moving ahead, full of hope for the new yr. This yr will be a yr of change too, stepping into a different society. Finally leaving behind the sheltered school life that I've been living in for the past 14 years.

I saw Irene's pic on another gal's frenster profile. Her name was Madeleine. This shd put an end to the ebby n irene saga. They nv were real, imposters. No wonder it's been ages since i saw them online. But whoever's behind this really gotta be too free, to actually impersonate 2 person while chatting with me. That's it, i'm no longing trusting any online personnel.

Have been taking peeks at the infamous xiaxue blogspot recently. She makes a pretty darn good blogger too, with the ever interesting sex topics which she can blatantly talk abt.

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

1 Present = 1 Point ?

Eugene told me abt this theory recently. That no matter how much ur gift cost, u will score only 1 point with the gal. So for any occasion, whether u give a waist-height mashimaro, a cheapskate harry potter owl hedwig, a pathetic tatty teddy bear in a box, or a ice-cream stick hse, u r still gonna score only 1 point for that occasion. Sounds like a good theory to follow rite? haha. Well, this is for all the cheapskates out there. (me included, haha)

Today is Valentine's Day. I restrained myself from doing anything for anybody. Dun ask me what's the point, it's just sth I wana do for this yr's v-day. Self-restraint. To not get myself involved with anyone for the time being. But the ever-romantic (or rather carrot-like) romeo in me always try to induce me to part with some money to invest in some surprises for someone who wun bother with me.

(Note : these r the ideas I have in mind at first, but by the time that i'm writing this means the times have already pass for any of it to take place. So its all fictitous. Occurs in my tots only)

The first idea was to send flowers to her place, i've got her address anyway. Then while at lot 1 with lewis last nite, I saw Phantom Of The Opera OST, n tot of buying it for her or for myself even so that I can burn the songs for her. We had a talk the other nite, on the phone this time. It's been a while since I heard her voice. Somehow i'm not as fluid as I used to be when talking to her this time. She has moved on long ago, n there r new guys in her life already. It's really hard to appear nonchalent abt it as we chat, hard to hide the tinge of disappointment. I think she sensed it as well, as our phonecall ended not long after that.

The immediate feeling is of coz fucked-up. But as I tried to gather the anger and bitterness within me, I found that I couldn't do it. I actually felt happier to give her my blessings, to wish her to find her happiness again somewhere, to see her finally undo the knot in her mind. This is sth which I found very hard to do in the past, to give my blessings. So maybe there is some truth in the saying that if u love someone, u only want them to be happy. Right now I only want to see her overcome her knot in her heart. A quote from adeline's frenster profile, "You being to accept your defeats with your heads up and your eyes ahead with the grace of an adult and not the grief of a child." I would like to say this to everyone else in the world who facing any setbacks in their lives too. I think I've grown again.

Eugene just called. To summarise, we r in the same boat again. Welcome to the club! We've just renewed our memebership with the BC.(Bachelors' Club) Several times we tried to tender our resignation but it seems we r so invaluable to the club that they refuse to let us withdraw. So we'll just have to keep jon company for a while more. (btw, jon's a lifetime member =P) Anyway, tonite's the make-or-break nite for lewis also. Somehow I think he'll succeed. 1 less member for the BC. =)

Saturday, February 12, 2005

Chinese New Yr

Start of a new yr, at least according to the lunar calender. The time of the yr where u r suppose to make new yr resolutions. The time of the yr where u r supposed to go bai nian, see ur relatives whom u only see once a yr yet still have the cheek to take angbao from, and listen to them marvel at how much u have grown, as if u r still growing any taller for the past donkey yrs.

Well, at least I was happy this CNY. I recall vividly the past CNY. I spent the whole day sms-ing min, persuading her to come back to me. It was a lousy feeling. Really lousy. No way m i ever going to feel that way again. Moping the days away when everyone else r enjoying the festive season. I spent the most part of the day sleeping at grandma's place anyway. Woke up groggily and still made my way to Zouk after that. Joined eugene and his group of frens from US. Zouk was alrite, packed as usual, playing the usual retro mix. Unfortunately someone had to suggest Phuture. Had another of those nites where we trooped from Zouk to Phuture n Phuture to Zouk countless times. What's it all for anyway? Phuture sucks to high heavens. Had my fair share of drinking, Lamborghini, Sex on the Beach, some Sour Apple shit, n of coz my fave Gin Tonic!!! haha

The clubbing outing with weiling came to naught again. I wasn't very upset abt it actually, in fact I wasn't upset at all. Maybe just a tad disappointed. Cos I expected it to not happen anyway. The lesser the expectation, the gentler ur fall. True of coz. I've come to expect this from weilingsss. 'Nothing's ever confirm until she's physically standing in front of me.' Well, michelle kind of one-up her, the time she go clubbing with me but join other guy frens there instead. Though she nv put my plane b4, but what she did was still quite ultimate. Really piss me to the limit that time, haha. (Dun kill me if u happen to read this michi, =p)

I sense my weird luck at work again. Been running into a lot of pple the past week. Met xinyi at cineleisure when I was hanging out with eugene. The next day I saw gillian at Westmall when I was kopi-ing with hui. Then subsequently saw adeline when I was shopping at Suntec with vivi.
Too much of a coincidence? Just me n my luck. V-day approaching. Time to reclaim the rest of europe from the german army. Oops, that's D-day. =p pple asking me if i'm gonna chu any pattern, I have no ans to that myself.

Sunday, February 06, 2005

Taken For Granted?

Am I always so nice to gals that I ended up being taken for granted? In a sense, yes. Maybe it can be attributed to my own chee hong ways, being especially nice to gals whom i'm hong-ing in the beginning when I just knew them. It's pretty amazing to look back n see how my companions in my uni life r 90% gals. I've been eating lunch with gals for the past few yrs in uni. I remember there was a moment in time when I was always helping frens (read as : gals) buy, print, photocopy, or source for notes. Whenever any gals asked for anything, i'll somehow reach out to all my sources and get a copy of it. Especially when the gal in question is j****.

Till a moment in time, it became like i'll only be contacted when assistance is needed. Not that I mind helping them source for stuffs they need, but sometimes I wonder if my efforts' appreciated. Maybe it has become like a norm to them ; Need something? Look for andy ; this kind of thing. That was during yr 2, where I got to know 4 babes in 1 sem. My 4 belles of MPE j****, c********, v*****, & m*******. =P Well, some of them have now been elevated to good frens status with me already, so there isnt really any feelings of exploitation. But still I wonder, is it worth it to be the nice guy? Nice guys finish last. They nv get the gals. As is evident in this case.

Feeling lousy for the past week. The events this weekend din help much. Last sat she told me she wanted to watch Phantom. I told her we could make it in time that nite if we took cab, which I dun mind. She said she'll think abt it, but din get back to me in the end. I asked her abt it again on tue n again I din get a reply. Till wed nite after the show's last screening, she told me she caught it on tue when I asked her abt it. Taken for granted? Yeah, big time. But then again, I'm not anyone significant to her fro her to have a resposibility towards either. What to do? Suck thumb, n tell myself not to be such a fool next time.

Kinda got played out by someone else today too, when I ask her whether if she wants to meet up for a drink. She said yeah, n would confirm with me later, but that's the last I heard from her the whole day. So what is this again? Just my luck. I dun wana spent CNY moping like what I did last year. Actually for the previous yrs, I've always spent CNY with a longing for someone in mind at that time. It was min in 2001, gillian in 2002, jiani in 2003 & min again in 2004. Let me spend CNY this year in peace.